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+--- Thread: Just a quick tip (/showthread.php?tid=2430)
Just a quick tip - Guest - 07-19-2008
A few months ago I was talking to some Hawaiians of various ages...
A thing that has been lost that I think should be brought forward...
Whenever someone comes and visits your hale (home)... you give them something....Anything... whether it be from your garden, your treasures, or your heart.
Never let someone that visits you on their time....leave w/out a gift of something.... small or big.
They came to visit you! Give back a little appreciation of their time.
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Rally For the Plan
RE: Just a quick tip - oink - 07-20-2008
I always thought it was generally just the opposite, never visit as a guest empty handed. I don't know what the traditional Hawaiian practice is.
Pua`a
S. FL
Big Islander to be.
RE: Just a quick tip - Hotzcatz - 07-20-2008
What goes around comes around. The more you give, the more you get. That can be dangerous if you live in a small house! ;P
RE: Just a quick tip - missydog1 - 07-20-2008
While I think it's a nice custom, Hawaiians have their customs; Japanese have their customs; my "people" [
] have their customs. I don't believe any culture should be pressured to take on other customs and lose one's own, in order to assimilate.If you were to apply that to Hawaiians moving to an area of the mainland, being told to do it someone else's way, it would be more clear what I mean. Even good customs shouldn't be obligatory.
Are you sure the Hawaiians weren't mourning that their young people are not carrying on the traditions? That I understand.
Actually I do offer something, anything, that I have, especially from the garden, though often the person has choke bananas at their own house, you never know. But I would hate to feel like I'm breaking a rule if I forgot.
In my mother's culture, you do not press a gift upon a visitor, and you may not like to be given a gift, because it implies (in that culture) a future obligation, and puts a constraint on the relationship. Not sure which of her bloodlines she got that from, but one that's fiercely independent and doesn't want to obligate or be obligated.
I'm just playing devil's advocate here because I don't like the idea of mono-culture and think it's good for others to understand and accept different ways of doing things, that it doesn't necessarily say anything about whether you have a good heart. It's a custom.
RE: Just a quick tip - Guest - 07-20-2008
Just a quick follow up.
This "tip" I gave... was just kind of passed onto me.
It wasn't a cultural or Hawaiian thing....it was more of an Ohana thing.
If you give in hopes of a return.... that's not giving.
When you give from your heart, you don't need a return, as the gift of giving is much better then receiving.
I didn't mean to push anything onto anyone. I'm slowly learning a new way of living after 10 years over in the city.
Now that I think about it... my tip may sound like I'm trying to persuade people to do something.
That was not my intention at all.
I just wanted to pass on the gift of giving.[:X]
It is great that everyone has there own customs. I didn't mean to come across as saying this is what people should do.
We each learn lessons in different ways.
My post topic should have read something to the affect of....
"I learned a New Lesson".
The funny thing is... it truly is easier to give then to receive. Even if it is something small.
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Rally For the Plan
RE: Just a quick tip - rusty h - 07-20-2008
i have a home being built two houses down from us. i took over cold drinks for them as i saw they were working hard and it was hot.
at first they said no thanks then joking i said its the custom around here to give. they laughed and took the drinks. a few days later i did the same and they took the drinks with smiles.
like Hotzcatz said; what goes around comes around
peace
RE: Just a quick tip - missydog1 - 07-21-2008
Hey Damon,
Thanks for the update, yes, it did come off to me as a "should" kind of tip, which is what I reacted to. Totally get what you were doing now that you explained.
I already do what you suggested ... it comes naturally to me.
I like doing it because I feel like it and not because I should.
Glad to hear you are enjoying finding new ways of living your life here.
I also think it is right and proper for Hawaiians to note when their customs are disappearing and to strive to bring them back into use in their ohana.
RE: Just a quick tip - Guest - 07-21-2008
quote:
Originally posted by KathyH
...
Glad to hear you are enjoying finding new ways of living your life here....
Thanks,
It is so much more peaceful here then Oahu was. I was going crazy over there w/out my Ohana!
And I really just love the "Aloha" spirit that has been shown to me since I have come back.
I guess living there over on Oahu for so many years... you don't really get the "aloha" spirit the way you do over here on the Big Island.
Everything over there is such a rat race... and a Gimmmeee Gimmmeee attitude!
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Rally For the Plan