10-26-2011, 08:21 AM
A lot of these responses show that most people here have no idea of what is actually going on and don't care to know. The very few who are willing to pay attention are shocked by what they see.
You assume that some online flame war is at the bottom of this. You think I got all bent out of shape by simple insults. That's not it at all. As to participating in a flame war -- I don't like flaming and in ten years of using the internet, I have very rarely even turned to sarcasm against another person. I have to be pushed hard to go there.
The insults aren't simple. What has been going on is invasion of privacy, textbook psychological abuse, destruction of my reputation, destruction of my family's reputation and privacy who don't even post, destruction of my business plans for generating income that I badly need, group stalking to obtain my private information -- none of which can be justified by people trading a few heated words on a forum.
I tried not engaging and completely ignoring it for months and months, but contrary to the accepted idea that if you don't feed it, it dies -- the abuse escalated. Some bullies can't stand to be ignored, and the more you ignore them, the more outrageous they get in order to force you to acknowledge their power.
Most of you don't want to believe in bullying. You want to believe that all bullying is the fault of the victim's willing complicity. The problem is, this attitude enables the bully. Bullies thrive when they are supported by a like-minded group that enjoys bullying. They also thrive when the "good" people turn a blind eye because they find it distressing to dwell on such negative things. The latter is what I see here.
I recently read about the "Just World Hypothesis" or "Just World Theory." I had never read about it before, as I am not a social psychologist, but I recognized its aptness right away.
Basically, it talks about how human beings deal with a world that is on its face full of injustice. The easiest way to do it is to believe that the world really is "just" and there is a divine or cosmic power ensuring that people get what they deserve. The basic flawed belief is that no one gets what they don't deserve.
To put this in Puna philosophy terms, we hear the "just world" theory when people insist that you always get the aloha that you give out. You only experience rudeness or racism when somehow you have failed to operate with aloha.
One reason the Just World Theory is so psychologically powerful is simple. Believing it allows people to feel safe and secure. If everyone who experiences abuse or misfortune "deserved" it -- then it cannot possibly happen to you as long as you are good.
There is another group of people who deal with an unjust world by volunteering to try to help victims of injustice. They too believe the world should be just, only they believe that personal efforts can make it a more just place. I fall into that group. When I see someone being treated unfairly, I step up and speak out.
This "just world" theory has been studied and tested with experiments that bear out what people will do to adjust their beliefs automatically to avoid believing that someone got treated badly and didn't deserve it.
Another interesting theory tells us that a person who is an observer, on the outside of a situation, will most often attribute a bad thing that happens to someone else to his or her personality deficit or disposition. But when the same thing happens to them, they see it as a situational issue. (See Fundamental Attribution Error in Wikipedia)
"As a simple example, if Alice saw Bob trip over a rock and fall, Alice might consider Bob to be clumsy or careless (dispositional). If Alice later tripped over the same rock herself, she would be more likely to blame the placement of the rock (situational)."
I guess what I would say to you guys who have such strong gut reactions, is maybe look inside yourselves and ask yourselves why you have pre-judged a situation that you have not followed in depth, maybe not followed at all. You haven't even looked at the forty-odd exhibits of abuse that are a link away. You probably don't even know that I have been depicted as spending my life on all fours being sexually serviced by a dog named Boner. Or of having a torrid affair with Hawaii Deborah as we find straight men to use up for their money or maybe because we enjoy a big one from time to time. Or of being gang-raped by the police and liking it, or that I offered sex to a judge to bribe him. Or that drawings saying I am a hooker have been posted on mens' rooms walls around the island.
Is that a simple flame war? If you are a woman, would you enjoy that happening to you? If you are a man, would you like having your wife or mother subjected to that kind of garbage?
You say not to look, but what you fail to understand is these images and stories are widely broadcast to those who do look. My personal information is being published for all to see too. Now would I be any safer if I did not know that my information was being broadcast for any lurker to take note of? I don't think so.
Studies have shown that because people do believe in a just world, that when they read garbage about someone, especially someone they don't know, they tend to think there is some truth to it or it would not exist. Because if it were all lies, someone would have made it stop. That helps you believe that it could not happen to you.
And that is why I am fighting to stop it. I don't give a rip what He Who Shall Not Be Named thinks of me, but I do care what people don't know may come to think of me. It's a small island.
You assume that some online flame war is at the bottom of this. You think I got all bent out of shape by simple insults. That's not it at all. As to participating in a flame war -- I don't like flaming and in ten years of using the internet, I have very rarely even turned to sarcasm against another person. I have to be pushed hard to go there.
The insults aren't simple. What has been going on is invasion of privacy, textbook psychological abuse, destruction of my reputation, destruction of my family's reputation and privacy who don't even post, destruction of my business plans for generating income that I badly need, group stalking to obtain my private information -- none of which can be justified by people trading a few heated words on a forum.
I tried not engaging and completely ignoring it for months and months, but contrary to the accepted idea that if you don't feed it, it dies -- the abuse escalated. Some bullies can't stand to be ignored, and the more you ignore them, the more outrageous they get in order to force you to acknowledge their power.
Most of you don't want to believe in bullying. You want to believe that all bullying is the fault of the victim's willing complicity. The problem is, this attitude enables the bully. Bullies thrive when they are supported by a like-minded group that enjoys bullying. They also thrive when the "good" people turn a blind eye because they find it distressing to dwell on such negative things. The latter is what I see here.
I recently read about the "Just World Hypothesis" or "Just World Theory." I had never read about it before, as I am not a social psychologist, but I recognized its aptness right away.
Basically, it talks about how human beings deal with a world that is on its face full of injustice. The easiest way to do it is to believe that the world really is "just" and there is a divine or cosmic power ensuring that people get what they deserve. The basic flawed belief is that no one gets what they don't deserve.
To put this in Puna philosophy terms, we hear the "just world" theory when people insist that you always get the aloha that you give out. You only experience rudeness or racism when somehow you have failed to operate with aloha.
One reason the Just World Theory is so psychologically powerful is simple. Believing it allows people to feel safe and secure. If everyone who experiences abuse or misfortune "deserved" it -- then it cannot possibly happen to you as long as you are good.
quote:
"Just-world phenomenon.
The belief that people get what they deserve and deserve what they get, which was first theorized by Melvin Lerner. Attributing failures to dispositional causes rather than situational causes, which are unchangeable and uncontrollable, satisfies our need to believe that the world is fair and we have control over our life.
We are motivated to see a just world because this reduces our perceived threats, gives us a sense of security, helps us find meaning in difficult and unsettling circumstances, and benefits us psychologically.
Unfortunately, the just-world hypothesis also results in a tendency for people to blame and disparage victims of a tragedy or an accident, such as victims of rape and domestic abuse to reassure themselves of their insusceptibility to such events. People may even go to such extremes as the victim's faults in "past life" to pursue justification for their bad outcome
There is another group of people who deal with an unjust world by volunteering to try to help victims of injustice. They too believe the world should be just, only they believe that personal efforts can make it a more just place. I fall into that group. When I see someone being treated unfairly, I step up and speak out.
This "just world" theory has been studied and tested with experiments that bear out what people will do to adjust their beliefs automatically to avoid believing that someone got treated badly and didn't deserve it.
Another interesting theory tells us that a person who is an observer, on the outside of a situation, will most often attribute a bad thing that happens to someone else to his or her personality deficit or disposition. But when the same thing happens to them, they see it as a situational issue. (See Fundamental Attribution Error in Wikipedia)
"As a simple example, if Alice saw Bob trip over a rock and fall, Alice might consider Bob to be clumsy or careless (dispositional). If Alice later tripped over the same rock herself, she would be more likely to blame the placement of the rock (situational)."
I guess what I would say to you guys who have such strong gut reactions, is maybe look inside yourselves and ask yourselves why you have pre-judged a situation that you have not followed in depth, maybe not followed at all. You haven't even looked at the forty-odd exhibits of abuse that are a link away. You probably don't even know that I have been depicted as spending my life on all fours being sexually serviced by a dog named Boner. Or of having a torrid affair with Hawaii Deborah as we find straight men to use up for their money or maybe because we enjoy a big one from time to time. Or of being gang-raped by the police and liking it, or that I offered sex to a judge to bribe him. Or that drawings saying I am a hooker have been posted on mens' rooms walls around the island.
Is that a simple flame war? If you are a woman, would you enjoy that happening to you? If you are a man, would you like having your wife or mother subjected to that kind of garbage?
You say not to look, but what you fail to understand is these images and stories are widely broadcast to those who do look. My personal information is being published for all to see too. Now would I be any safer if I did not know that my information was being broadcast for any lurker to take note of? I don't think so.
Studies have shown that because people do believe in a just world, that when they read garbage about someone, especially someone they don't know, they tend to think there is some truth to it or it would not exist. Because if it were all lies, someone would have made it stop. That helps you believe that it could not happen to you.
And that is why I am fighting to stop it. I don't give a rip what He Who Shall Not Be Named thinks of me, but I do care what people don't know may come to think of me. It's a small island.