01-19-2014, 07:52 AM
I'd like to see a lava themed sitcom where seven people near Pahoa are stranded on an island surrounded by lava (a hill) and can't communicate with the outside world because the telephone company won't add enough DSL ports for them to get broadband internet and the cable company argues that there weren't enough potential subscribers for them to string up cable. One of the castaways is a professor who eventually comes up with a brilliant yet somehow comical scheme to divert the lava using a special heat resistant plastic barrier, but when they finally find a way to communicate with the outside world, they discover that the only source to produce the specialized plastic, plastic shopping bags, has been banned. Not daunted, he comes up with another clever idea to dam and divert the lava by spraying it with sea water, but before his plan can be implemented they get sued by the Sierra Club for not conducting an environmental impact study first. When the series finally ends, the last episode shows them getting rescued by the same tourist helicopters that they had been complaining daily about for the last 10 years. Then the actor who played the professor wakes up and everything is in black and white, and he realizes he was just dreaming. And that he lives next door to a geothermal plant but somehow his Helco bill is still four times the national average. But he just shrugs it off, gets up, and drives to work on poorly maintained private roads.