07-30-2015, 06:13 PM
Dear Opihikao,
I am so sorry to learn about your husband's death in such tragic circumstances. Your advice is excellent, as ever. My own family has a history of depression and I remember a time many years ago when I was a teenager when our closest family friends lost two brothers within a year to suicide. I didn't understand it then, but over the years I've come to understand the illness a little better.
My favourite sport is cricket, in fact I'm a cricket nut, but one of England's finest cricketers, one of my favourite players, was a victim of depression. He survived, fortunately, and was brave enough to write a book about his experience. It's called "Coming back to me" by Marcus Trescothick.
There are a couple of quotes from the book I cannot forget, and suspect they are relevant here.
"But depression doesn't care who it attacks; if it wants you, you cannot beat it off with a CV or a bank balance."
And
"I learned that depression often hits people who appear strong, often the sort others rely on. Friends and family are usually surprised when they get ill; indeed they are the last person you would expect to have a breakdown.
But, as I found out, it makes sense. A weak person will never get stressed enough to become ill: he will simply give up. A strong person, however, will try to overcome difficulties. Moreover, a sensitive person will feel obliged to keep struggling because he doesn't want to disappoint people."
I doubt this helps, but at least you are now aware other people are starting to understand this devastating illness and how it affects everyone. Again, I'm so sorry you lost your husband to this cruel disease.
Tom
I am so sorry to learn about your husband's death in such tragic circumstances. Your advice is excellent, as ever. My own family has a history of depression and I remember a time many years ago when I was a teenager when our closest family friends lost two brothers within a year to suicide. I didn't understand it then, but over the years I've come to understand the illness a little better.
My favourite sport is cricket, in fact I'm a cricket nut, but one of England's finest cricketers, one of my favourite players, was a victim of depression. He survived, fortunately, and was brave enough to write a book about his experience. It's called "Coming back to me" by Marcus Trescothick.
There are a couple of quotes from the book I cannot forget, and suspect they are relevant here.
"But depression doesn't care who it attacks; if it wants you, you cannot beat it off with a CV or a bank balance."
And
"I learned that depression often hits people who appear strong, often the sort others rely on. Friends and family are usually surprised when they get ill; indeed they are the last person you would expect to have a breakdown.
But, as I found out, it makes sense. A weak person will never get stressed enough to become ill: he will simply give up. A strong person, however, will try to overcome difficulties. Moreover, a sensitive person will feel obliged to keep struggling because he doesn't want to disappoint people."
I doubt this helps, but at least you are now aware other people are starting to understand this devastating illness and how it affects everyone. Again, I'm so sorry you lost your husband to this cruel disease.
Tom