02-05-2017, 03:28 AM
How a Bill is Made
Hawaii Version
(or how to make delicious lemonade from lemons)
1) Introduce Bill into State House
2) Send Bill to Committee. If it's not feasible to pass bill at this time, appropriate funding for a study, and defer to future session
3) Hire unemployed member of your own party as lead consultant on the issue.
EXAMPLE:
For a bill concerning prostitution, engage the services of a high ranking official, perhaps a former mayor, with previous investigatory experience in hypothetically Hawaii related businesses such as Korean hostess bars. Expand the scope of the study to include jurisdictions with existing legal prostitution, such as Las Vegas. Finance position with a large six figure salary, and perhaps an unrestricted pCard for travel, drinks, hotel, and other expenses, as necessary.
Initial Effect - Two benefits result from this method of government:
1) Members of your own party are always employed
2) Future questions about any unsavory conduct the consultant may have been associated with in the past, can now by deflected and reworded in terms of their most recent government contributions, for example:
When a question from the press about past indiscretions involving hostess bars, alcohol consumption, etc is raised, the answer may now be framed in the following manner:
"If you are referring to his/my extensive study for the bill introduced by the Speaker of House in the last session, yes, I would have to say his/my experience as mayor, and discussions he/I held in that position with city, county, state, and national representative from around the world, made him/me best qualified to advise us on all potential impacts of this bill on the local economy and our citizenry. His/my experience was essential and fundamental in allowing us to take the next step forward on this proposal.
Conclusion: Formerly tainted official is rewarded and thoroughly rehabilitated, ready for his next act on the political stage.
"It doesn’t sound like a benefit when I can’t even understand it." -Brannon Kamahana Kealoha at the TMT Hearing
Hawaii Version
(or how to make delicious lemonade from lemons)
1) Introduce Bill into State House
2) Send Bill to Committee. If it's not feasible to pass bill at this time, appropriate funding for a study, and defer to future session
3) Hire unemployed member of your own party as lead consultant on the issue.
EXAMPLE:
For a bill concerning prostitution, engage the services of a high ranking official, perhaps a former mayor, with previous investigatory experience in hypothetically Hawaii related businesses such as Korean hostess bars. Expand the scope of the study to include jurisdictions with existing legal prostitution, such as Las Vegas. Finance position with a large six figure salary, and perhaps an unrestricted pCard for travel, drinks, hotel, and other expenses, as necessary.
Initial Effect - Two benefits result from this method of government:
1) Members of your own party are always employed
2) Future questions about any unsavory conduct the consultant may have been associated with in the past, can now by deflected and reworded in terms of their most recent government contributions, for example:
When a question from the press about past indiscretions involving hostess bars, alcohol consumption, etc is raised, the answer may now be framed in the following manner:
"If you are referring to his/my extensive study for the bill introduced by the Speaker of House in the last session, yes, I would have to say his/my experience as mayor, and discussions he/I held in that position with city, county, state, and national representative from around the world, made him/me best qualified to advise us on all potential impacts of this bill on the local economy and our citizenry. His/my experience was essential and fundamental in allowing us to take the next step forward on this proposal.
Conclusion: Formerly tainted official is rewarded and thoroughly rehabilitated, ready for his next act on the political stage.
"It doesn’t sound like a benefit when I can’t even understand it." -Brannon Kamahana Kealoha at the TMT Hearing
"I'm at that stage in life where I stay out of discussions. Even if you say 1+1=5, you're right - have fun." - Keanu Reeves