Trash Dumping: call police or...?

[AlohaSteven]

Does anyone have advice to offer--preferably based in actual local experience--as regards how best to respond when trash is being dumped on one's property in Puna?

Specifically, four big plastic Hefty trash bags filled to bursting with household garbage have appeared on the privately owned side of the line nearby a public road. They are far enough into the jungle that someone had to carry them in away from the road and drop the bags there, out of sight from the roadway. I have not disturbed the bags of trash, wondering if I should attempt to summon police and make a report or take other action.

What would be most effective?

What would be the path with aloha?

Given all the information archaeologists extract from ancient trash middens, I expect when the four fairly fresh bags of trash are opened it will be possible to know not only the dietary habits, personal hygiene practices, reading habits, junk mail flavor, and perhaps financial status of the person(s) to whom the trash belongs, but also their name(s) and address as well.

Since the bags of trash were dumped near the same point of access into the woods via which trespassers a year earlier felled an old ohia tree by chainsaw, limbed it, and then dragged the thick post portion out 20 feet or so to the road I am inclined to not have as much of a compassionately-tolerate-the-less-fortunate sense of humor about this trash dumping as I otherwise might. Made a real mess in the forest as well as thieving an old and quite beautiful tree. The tree poacher and trash dumper may be one and the same person or crew, returning, since many who engage in unsophisticated illegal activity are lazy and not very bright. Or, it could be a coincidence they both used the same spot for their dirty work.

The gate area about 200 feet away is posted with all sorts of admonishing signage (No Trespassing, Beware of Dog, No Dumping, etc) for the sake of pro forma legal coverage. Whomever did the dumping obviously knows it was wrong to have done so or s/he would not have made an effort to hide the bags of trash from view.

So, here in Puna, wanting to be a good neighbor, what would be recommended as the best course of action? These are the options which occur to mind so far:

-Call the police, make a formal report, and--if indeed they come to investigate--blast Alice's Restaurant on the truck's CD player for their amusement while they take 8x10 glossy photographs in evidence.

-Open up the trash bags myself, find the address of the trash-maker, take the bags back to him or her, and neatly return them while explaining in a friendly manner that "These four bags of trash must have somehow all bounced 20 feet out of the back of a vehicle headed to the dump and--astonishingly enough--all landed in the same place in the forest. I sure hope it does not happen again!"

-Perhaps not be so careful about the bags remaining intact when they are returned to the owner's home, with the unfortunate result they rupture all over the front porch.

-Document everything in the trash bags and then post it all to the web, with photos, no matter what the contents might be--from billing statements with name and address to decaying food containers to used condoms--all displayed in detail on its own dedicated site, inviting comments from the public at large as to that which might be inferred or deduced from these improperly discarded artifacts I now own by virtue of their having been abandoned on my property.

I probably would not really do either of the last two options (at least, not unless further provoked) but admit this has me a bit annoyed. Trashing beautiful spots in nature is down there with being unkind to children and animals, in my book, and I take a dim view of it all.

Suggestions?



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