share a joke?

[ElysianWort]

A man boards a plane to Nevada, finds his seat and begins people-watching till takeoff. To his dismay, the most beautiful lady he's ever seen enters the cabin and takes the aisle seat right next to him. Feeling the weight of his gaze she turns to him, smiles, and begins making small talk. She asks him where he's headed, he replies "Carson City, to visit my brother." He then asks her the same question and her reply is: "to Las Vegas to the annual nymphomaniac's convention. The man says, "woah a nymphomaniac!". Hearing the excitement in his voice the woman says: easy there tiger, I may be nympho but I have standards, I don't just sleep with anyone. He then asks: what are your standards? The gorgeous woman says, well first there is size. She goes on to say that stereotypes say that black men are the most generously endowed but it isn't true. Her own research has proved that native-American men are the "biggest". She goes on to say that the next standard is passion. She explains how Frenchmen have been misconceived as the most passionate and how it really turns out that Jewish men are by far the most passionate lovers. The man listens intently as she goes on to explain her third and final standard. Stamina, she says is third thing I look for. Movies and books may say that Italian men are the most virl but she explains that her experiences with Polynesian men tell her otherwise. They continue talking and drift off the topic. At this point she offers a handshake with a dazzling smile and says, my name's Chloe, what's yours? Without a pause the young man replies in a smooth confident voice: "I'm Tonto Goldberg, friends call me Kimo.

My acupuncturist friend Scott told me that one. Please share yours. []

[jahson777]

Watch out for those who practice acupuncture, they are back stabbers.

I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.

[RJHampton]

A traveling salesman trying to make a buck was driving through the plains of Nebraska when he decided to stop at a farmhouse coming up on his left. As he was walking up the driveway toward the front door of the house, a pig with three legs caught his eye. It was just hobbling through the grass. When the farmer answered the door and asked what he was selling, the salesman first asked about the three legged pig. "That pig is the most amazing pig in the land, son." The farmer said, "Last year, our house caught fire when we were all asleep and that pig ran in and woke us all up one by one and saved our lives!" The salesman was surprised. "That is one special pig" He said. The Farmer replied, "That's not all. Last summer, that pig jumped into the pond and dragged my drowning son to safety. He would have died." The salesman was in disbelief as to how incredible this pig was. "One question. Why does he have 3 legs, is it from the fire?" He asked, "No son, ya see, a pig like that you just don't eat all at one time."[]

[randomq]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

There is no road, only a large private road-shaped lot, and the county only has a right-of-way so you can't arrest me for DUI!