10-29-2012, 03:05 AM
An incest / molestation victim does not "move on" from sexual abuse. They need life long counseling in my experience. Supported by many studies. - it is a life long journey 12 step and support groups important. Been there done that,.....
Like I said, been there done that - its a nightmare for all involved, 12 step group counseling is what saved my partner (childhood incest victim). Hope these kids get help - as of now Dad is in jail not guilty until proven - the chance of these kids having to testify - rips me apart.... cant speak for the kids but I have my insights...... in our case "it was all her fault" took years to get passed that issue - its not easy.
From Martins: "Martens and Associates 2011"
HISTORIC SEXUAL ABUSE
MOTHERS
According to Martens and Associates (2011) 90% of women in relationships with men where the man abuses their child were also sexually abused as children. Data collected from the sexual abuse treatment centers associated with Martens and Associates states that 65% of women who were sexually abused also became offenders. Women often sexually abuse during teen and early 20’s and then they usually stop. Mathews, F. (1996) also states that many self report studies show a high percentage of men say they were sexually abused by women. He adds that a high proportion of rapists, sex offenders and sexually aggressive men state they were also sexually abused by women when they were young. If a woman was abused and hasn’t dealt with the abuse, it will be significantly more difficult for her to believe, help and support her daughter if her daughter discloses abuse because her daughter’s abuse will trigger memories of her own abuse. If the mother was not only abused, but also became an offender, she is even less likely to believe her daughter as she in not only in denial of her own abuse but also her own offending.
FATHER
90% of regressed sex offenders were sexually abused and virtually all were abused in some way; physically, sexually or emotionally and were discouraged or not allowed to express their emotions. According to Martens and Associates data, the two most common offenders who offended against these regressed sex offenders when they were children were their sisters or aunts. Women were the common offenders who abused these men who then, in turn, abused against their own daughters (Martens and Associates, 2011). Mathews, F (1996) states that boys who were abused by women, if in turn, they become offenders, almost exclusively offend against females.
SUMMATION
The victim will not tell authorities because of society’s perception that offenders are horrible creatures. The victim is not going to turn in her father, the only one who seems to love and care for her, to people whom she believes hate and despise him. Helping families of sexual abuse starts with understanding the family dynamics and the perception of each family member. Showing the victim that her father made horrible choices but, ultimately, is understood and can get help will increase the likelihood that she will tell.
My heart goes out to anyone molested........... 12 step was our salvation.
Like I said, been there done that - its a nightmare for all involved, 12 step group counseling is what saved my partner (childhood incest victim). Hope these kids get help - as of now Dad is in jail not guilty until proven - the chance of these kids having to testify - rips me apart.... cant speak for the kids but I have my insights...... in our case "it was all her fault" took years to get passed that issue - its not easy.
From Martins: "Martens and Associates 2011"
HISTORIC SEXUAL ABUSE
MOTHERS
According to Martens and Associates (2011) 90% of women in relationships with men where the man abuses their child were also sexually abused as children. Data collected from the sexual abuse treatment centers associated with Martens and Associates states that 65% of women who were sexually abused also became offenders. Women often sexually abuse during teen and early 20’s and then they usually stop. Mathews, F. (1996) also states that many self report studies show a high percentage of men say they were sexually abused by women. He adds that a high proportion of rapists, sex offenders and sexually aggressive men state they were also sexually abused by women when they were young. If a woman was abused and hasn’t dealt with the abuse, it will be significantly more difficult for her to believe, help and support her daughter if her daughter discloses abuse because her daughter’s abuse will trigger memories of her own abuse. If the mother was not only abused, but also became an offender, she is even less likely to believe her daughter as she in not only in denial of her own abuse but also her own offending.
FATHER
90% of regressed sex offenders were sexually abused and virtually all were abused in some way; physically, sexually or emotionally and were discouraged or not allowed to express their emotions. According to Martens and Associates data, the two most common offenders who offended against these regressed sex offenders when they were children were their sisters or aunts. Women were the common offenders who abused these men who then, in turn, abused against their own daughters (Martens and Associates, 2011). Mathews, F (1996) states that boys who were abused by women, if in turn, they become offenders, almost exclusively offend against females.
SUMMATION
The victim will not tell authorities because of society’s perception that offenders are horrible creatures. The victim is not going to turn in her father, the only one who seems to love and care for her, to people whom she believes hate and despise him. Helping families of sexual abuse starts with understanding the family dynamics and the perception of each family member. Showing the victim that her father made horrible choices but, ultimately, is understood and can get help will increase the likelihood that she will tell.
My heart goes out to anyone molested........... 12 step was our salvation.