so the call came the other day...

[Menehune]

Kaumaha au nou!

Mahalo for the reminder!

Peace to you!

"Each thing I do I rush through so I can do something else" - Cemetery Nights/Stephen Dobyns

[Devany]

Hugs to you. My sympathy to you and your family. What a horrible way to tell you that your brother had died. Police people can be sort of insensitive at times.

It is true that sibling relationships can be problematic, but sometimes there are people that are just difficult with everyone they are associated with that do not believe and live exactly like they do. Personally, I find the "preachy" types the hardest to deal with (very long story). You are right, none of us knows when or if we will see any of our loved ones or even friends again... any of us could be gone in a flash. Remembering to tell the ones you love that you do love them is important, more so is showing them that you love them by your actions and your life, even after they are gone. What you posted is a step in that direction.

Aloha au i Hawai`i,
devany

www.eastbaypotters.com
www.myhawaiianhome.blogspot.com

[Liz]

Deep sympathy to you at this most difficult time. Hang in there, and know your message has been heard by many who will be certain to tell their own dear ones how much they care, before it is too late.
Peace to you and your own dear heart,

aloha, Liz

"The best things in life aren't things."

[dakine]

Thank You Everyone for all your kind words. Oddly (maybe?) I do not feel a tremendous loss. Not that I have faith in anything specific, other than the glue that is all and everything, of which we are all so much a part of. But, I know all is right, well, and as it should be. I told the story, more to say that opinions mean zip when seen through eyes that see mortality in all they rest upon. The miracle of life is just that, a miracle. And, how important it is to not forget it. A lot of our sharing of opinions might be very well served were we to keep this in mind. (kinda preachy, yeah? and not as if I am not one to forget. I suppose the first step is practicing much more respect... a whole lot more). I am sorry for any of my failings in this way. Thanks again

[punafish]

My condolences to you and your family, and sincere appreciation for the opportunity to reflect.

Hang in there,

Tim

[mella l]

Once upon a time, I was almost the recipient of just such a 10PM call. The police came to my house at that late hour with grim news. I wasn't at home. My parents living on the 15 acres next door received the police visit. My mother bless her departed soul, went bananas when the officer told her they would have someone call me. I was away from home working in another city. Mother wouldn't give them the telephone number where I was and insisted that they share the information with her and she would drive to where I was and pass the information in person. My parents drove for 3 hours to tell me the only treasures I loved in life had perished.

I existed for many years following that night, you couldn't call it living. Friends, family, neighbors reached out to me but I was too lost to see and accept their reach.

So Dakine, many have walked this path with you. Here many have offered their love, aloha, understanding of that path. I am so sorry for your loss. My one consistent prayer each night is that my sibling survives me.

There are tears of love in each story here to be sure. When someone we love leaves this life there is a part of our hearts that overflows with the love for our lost ones. As they aren't here to love, to hug, to speak with, and laugh with, or realistically argue and fuss with. The love in our hearts overflows and leaks out, it is call misting, tears of love.

May your dreams be wonderful dreams of your brother. I hope he comes to you in dreams and shares with you the all encompassing love where his heart now lives. I believe when we venture on to the next adventure in life that it is a very simple place of peace and light and love.

All our best to you and yours. Mella and Gene

mella l

[missydog1]

Thank you for sharing dakine ... and the message ... what a shocking way to hear.
mella, your story sounds horrific.

My prayer has always been not to lose a child, or a grandchild.

Sibling relationships can indeed be strange. My only sister stopped talking to me over 15 years ago, and honestly my life is better without that relationship. Oddly, three of my closest friends also have families where one sister has poisoned the whole family's happiness, as mine has made my parents miserable for fifty years ... I suppose that sounds harsh, but she is a high-functioning yet thoroughly crazy paranoid schizophrenic OCD narcissist who won't get treatments other than psychic readings ... and thinks she is sane, so it's a little hard to deal with her.

I think it's perfectly OK to feel ambivalent about family members. We don't pick them; some are the source of our joy and others not so much. I am actually dreading that if one of my parents dies, it means I have to deal with my sister.

dakine, I'm sorry your brother was a judging person, and hurt you, but you know, it wasn't you, it was his trip.

[aikahimomma]

my sister was killed by a drunk driver in 1976.
my brother was drunk and got killed in 2006 when he hit a truck...i was the baby of the 3 of us. Now i am left with no siblings to grow old with. It can really be hard at times to deal with that reality. I have friends that have stepped in but the loss is soul shattering for me.
I don't drink alcohol...quit 16 years ago when i realized the ramifications...wish my brother could have found sobriety too.
so sorry for your loss dakine.

[Chuysmom]

Thanks for sharing Dakine. My heart goes out to you for your loss.

This thread is a wonderful example of how we heal. We share. It reminds us that in our dark hours that we really are not alone - others too have felt the pain of this loss.

Mella - thank you for sharing your story. Once again, I am humbled.[:X]

Carrie Rojo

http://www.carrierojo.etsy.com


"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek." Barack Obama