Foster Families in decline

[Rob Tucker]

From the Star Advertiser

http://www.staradvertiser.com/news/20110...cline.html

The economic downturn is attributed as a reason for a decline in foster families. Quoted from the article: "as Hawaii's economy struggled, the number of foster, or "resource," families across the islands dropped to just 100 in fiscal year 2010 from 157"

It is a sad fact. There are kids out there that need a loving home.

Assume the best and ask questions.

Punaweb moderator

[KeaauRich]

It is sad...however, we have friends who decided to be foster parents for two boys and it did not go well. The kids were great and very appreciative of their new home. However, mom started showing up at school functions and other places where the kids were and began threatening the foster parents, fighting, etc. The foster care system folks said call the police, and the police didn't care. Long story made short, it got so bad/scary that the kids are now waiting for a new foster home and our friends have moved off Island.

These kids need lots of love and support, but so do the foster parents. Both seem to be lacking...

[Bullwinkle]

man it sounds like these kids need some help... an advocate where is the county in all this - do they just write the checks or do they care?

Billy - get on it

[csgray]

These are all state run programs, not county, all though that sounds like a typical response by our county law enforcement. Part of the problem is the bulk of the support personnel and administration for these programs are on Oahu (like everything else here) so there isn't a person here on this Island with the right title, power, and connections who can pick up the phone and get the cops to respond effectively in this situation. I have had a lot of foster kids as students and most of the parents are very dedicated, but often are very frustrated with dealing with the way the system is set up here.

It is also decades since the per child rate has gone up. Just thinking about food, shoes, clothes and utilities for a teenager makes me think the <$600 families get paid per kid wouldn't go very far.

Carol

[pslamont]

We too have stopped doing foster care for the time being. Dealing with the "agency people" is miserable, reimbursement was cut drastically this year and the ultimate problem is the kids parent(s). They are removed because the parent(s) have dysfunctional lives. The mandate from the state to reunite is missing the link that the parent(s) need to be rehabbed FIRST. It is unlikely that the parent(s) will change their lives for the most part, but the kids are reunited anyway, either by moving them back in or with extended visits to the parent. Every foster child that we have had in the last 4 years has ended up back in the system after reunification with family. The goal to keep families together is a fine goal but the reality of that goal is that an underfunded and understaffed system is administering a program that just doesn't work. We hear from the school how well a child is doing, only to get a call within a week or two of parent reunification letting us know of the disaster the child has become.

We were amazed that we caught flack when we objected to the program arranging a "SKILLS TRAINER" (an under 30 person to take the kid out to the mall, play basketball, etc which they call social skills training, as if we kept them locked up 7 days a week!) for 5-8 PM on Monday evenings. I told them, "it's a school night, he has homework, he gets home on the bus between 3:30 and 4, He's add and needs a break for a bit when he gets home after a long day, he goes to bed by 9; there isn't time". They insisted, then wanted me to give him cash to go out to dinner with the trainer. I put my foot down. They had a fit. I got my way but imagine the other grief they gave me . If they felt they needed to have him out in evenings without us, I suggested Friday or Saturday nights. I was informed it wasn't convenient for the skills trainer. Uh, since when is convenience for the adult part of "therapy" for the kid? I asked about homework and they suggested he could "do it in the car with the skills trainer". The whole thing was absurd.

Indeed, we worked with a special program. We jumped through a ton of hoops every week but at least we got a decent reimbursement. I understand that in the "regular" foster system, the support reimbursement is limited to less than $600/child. Ever try to feed, clothe and transport a child for that? I couldn't do it, that is for sure. Granted we feed well, make sure they have good and socially equalizing wardrobes and keep them active, but isn't that what the parenting roll includes?

We are taking a break because it just breaks our hearts. I don't know what we will do in the long run. All I know is we saw a broken system trying to fix broken kids by returning them to broken households. Ugh!

I want to be the kind of woman that, when my feet
hit the floor each morning, the devil says

"Oh Crap, She's up!"

[Radiopeg]

Pam, I'm so sorry to hear that. It has to be a hard job to be a good foster parent. Cory and I have been thinking about trying the waters when we get settled (and that would be????) and do the respite thing as a start. I wish there was an answer on how the parents could get successfully turned around.

[spunky]

Thanks for everyone's input. My parents took in foster kids when my brother and I were little. After reading these posts I would have to seriously think about doing it. And it's a shame too because from what I hear there are a bunch of great kids out there that need a home.

[Bullwinkle]

and they are are residents (kids are) of the county ---- again Billy - they need an advocate ...... The county should step in and keep the state honest ... or even toss some money their way