When you visit friends in Hawaii....

[csgray]

Stillhope,
I am guessing your rather disjointed and incoherent post is aimed at me so I will respond.

Believe it or not, most of the universe has no idea that Punaweb exists, including all of my friends and family who came and visited this winter. So no, I was not posting here for them to see it. That would be a very strange and backhanded thing to do, and I wonder about the thinking processes of the mind that would jump to that conclusion.

Secondly, we had non stop back to back visitors from mid December until the end of February, so we really had no chance to evaluate the impact until they were all gone and we got a breather. I posted here so others could learn from my experience, and know to have those frank conversations or emails BEFORE their guests arrive. We will be following Kapohocat's example and are drafting a simple set of house rules to send our guests before their arrival. There are also many people from the mainland who read Punaweb and stay with friends and family when they come visit, and this thread may raise a little awareness on their part. From other poster's comments who have also been through this, it is very clear that this experience is not unique to us.

Finally, you do not know me personally, or how I treated my guests, so accusing me of not having aloha is presumptuous and judgmental of you. If you do not have something constructive to add to a thread, just stay out of it, instead of doing the internet equivalent of shouting by using a big font and bright colors while making statements for which you have no factual basis.

Carol

[StillHope]

Carol,my post is not "pointing" at you.
You are not the only one posted.
I have no doubt that you treated your guests well.

I am not accusing you of not showing your guests the aloha,in fact

you showed too much aloha
(I am serious,no sarcasm or negativity)

when it was time to play "a bad guy",like David mentioned.

My point was - if someone is taking 4 0.5 h long showers a day - why not to talk to a person at least after the third shower?

[rbonplaza]

Carol, very well stated reply. As newly established Puna residents, we have yet to enjoy the experiences as described by the posters here, but find the re-tellings very informative. Stillhope, I hope you choose the other side of the bed tomorrow morning[]

[StillHope]

If you are angry at your guests,you can take it on me -it's much easier.

I totally understand the frustration of paying a $100 extra a week for someone's irresponsible behavior.

I am only saying that letting your guests know in advance or in the process would be fair to your guests and easier on your wallet later.

I doubt that after an honest conversation about the water shortage or the electricity 4 times more expensive on the island any one would abuse it again on purpose.

If your guests don't have a clue - clue them in!

It's ALL I am trying to say.

[kani-lehua]

quote:

---

Originally posted by StillHope

Carol,my post is not "pointing" at you.


My point was - if someone is taking 4 0.5 h long showers a day - why not to talk to a person at least after the third shower?
Did you?

---

SH: right there in the aforementioned post, you point directly to CSG: "....did you?......"

secondly, it was carey who mentioned that her niece was the one that took 2 to 4 1/2 hour showers. NOT Carol.

here's what carey said:
"...(one niece actually took 2 to 4 half hour hot showers a day..."

here's what carol mentions:

"...#3 If the house is on catchment and a drought is mentioned, pay close attention to water use. That means short showers, efficient tooth brushing and dish washing, and generally being conscious about how you use water. Remember, if the water runs low it will cost $130 and a several day wait for water delivery...."



"a great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."

w. james

[StillHope]

Kani,I edited my post before you posted this.
I removed that question And the fact that Carey,not Carol posted it ,proves that I responded to all posts ,not just Carol's.

Sure it's not easy to talk to your guest about the electric bill or $130 for a water truck.

But it's more fair to the guests who are supposedly not reading this

to let them know if not in advance,then at least in the process.

[JerryCarr]

In my wierd little world I have a different perspective. We sometimes wish we had more visitors. There are several friends and relatives whom we wish would visit, but haven't managed after five years, despite frequent invitations. Two of these folks have honestly told me that their financial situations don't allow a trip, despite the fact that they would have free accommodations. (I should add that these are nice people who have brought lovely gifts and treated us to dinners out when they stayed at our home in Atlanta.)

When my dear cousin from Texas and his small wedding entourage chose to come to the Big Island, the first thing they asked was for me to help them find a family-style vacation rental for a reasonable price. Thanks to the good recommendations here on Punaweb, they were thrilled with the place I found for them and the price they paid for it. They rented a van with me as an additional driver and we had a grand time sight-seeing and exploring. They took us out to eat and cooked a great Texas-style meal for us at their rental. We did cook them a couple of meals at our home, treat them to a Hawaiian-style meal out, and show them some "secret" places that they would never have found on their own.

Our other interesting visitor experience has been with our good friend and massage therapist from Atlanta. He has stayed in our home here three times, and he always gives us each at least two massages during his three to five day visits. He also always rents a 4WD vehicle for a few days and treats us to visits to places like the Mauna Kea summit and Waipio Valley that we would rarely visit otherwise, if ever.

Maybe we are just lucky, but there is also the fact that Southern Hospitality has always been a two-way, give and take concept.

[kani-lehua]

nope. i disagree. you addressed your post directly to carol saying that you weren't, "pointing" at her. you follow-up saying, "did you?" in the same post. from all appearances, it looks like you removed/edited your post and backtracked not that you some how, "responded to all posts". your statements were incorrect and your logic/justification bewildering.



"a great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."

w. james

[Sherrill Watson]

Carol - Wish my last two guests (who stayed at different times) could have read your first post! And I thought I had two guests from hell! Sure, having people as friends or relatives are not the same as having them visit, or travel with you; but I did expect CONSIDERATION! I can't imagine not asking what time schedule my hosts need, what they prefer as to household utilities usage, food preferences, etc. My last two guests did little but complain, eat things I'd planned to use for OUR meals, use MY car, etc., while I did little but explain, defend, clean up after them, make do with limited ingredients for meals, etc. After I'd shopped for items for several breakfasts, one refused to eat in, then an hour later wanted me to take them out "for a bite." No restaurants within five miles notwithstanding! The last guest, after a week of non-stop whining, negative comparisons with everywhere else, and my final weak defenses, I finally said, at the airport, "I'm sorry you didn't seem to have a good time." "Are you kidding? I had a wonderful time!" Well, you could have fooled me!! They must have been awful guests elsewhere too!
It's true, however, you have to get all the rules straight BEFORE you play a game - or have guests. But one would think common courtesy . . .!!!!

[StillHope]

Kani,I did.(Assume the best?)But it doesn't matter.Because,as I said, Carol showed too much aloha when it was time to be a bad guy.
Did you talk to your guest or chose not to?
That is the question to everyone.