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quote:
Originally posted by csgray...The best gift my parents ever gave me was the chance to fly or fall flat on my face.
I can totally relate! I moved here (well west side) in 1990. Two weeks later I called my dad and said crying "Daddy, I want to come home - I hate it here." and he said "honey, cant rescue you now, you are married" (I was a newlywed of 5 months.)
Best thing that ever happened. Up to then, I could always count on the parental safety net. I found out I was strong, and that of course the BIg Island is awesome! The reason I wanted to leave now seem so silly.
Chris, one can only assume IF all the information isn't given. You made a pretty broad request with only vague information to go by. Nature of the Internet. If you don't hear exactly what you want, which seems to be that your son made a big mistake (I can only assume), you will have to accept that information as well. Don't rely on people like me to say that your son made a big mistake coming to one of the most awesome places on the face of the Earth.
I hereby "inform" your son that I believe him to be an adventurous soul who should follow his heart wherever it takes him. I hope he made the right choice coming to Puna and I applaud him for his fortitude. Don't let anyone lead you life for you. Chances are you will both regret it in the end. Welcome to Heaven on Earth.
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Mauka has found his/her Heaven-on-Earth but no guarantee it will or won't be that for your son.
Personally I found East Side Big Island to be pretty far from Heaven and we are much happier now in Waimea. Its still not Heaven but I doubt that many Punatics would consider the place I consider close to Paradise to be that for them. (its on the mainland)
Someone in the threads mentioned the whole "The Island chooses her children" idea which I think tends to overblow the mystique woo-woo that people give this place. That kind of connection happens to people everywhere; its called being where you belong and its hardly exclusive to Hawaii.
If your son has decided to make his life out here then I truly hope then he will find this to be the place he belongs, or at least will be for a while.
I would suggest having him read the book, Culture Shock: Hawaii. Its a good overview of life out here that people need to be ready for without the "Aloha" Board of Tourism spin.
I'm not saying its a negative, but its definitely different in some surprising ways. Some fit right in, others find it hard to accept. Best for him to be informed of the Islands shortcomings and how hard it is to get established in such an insular culture.
But just because something is hard doesn't mean it shouldn't be attempted. I just would hope he has a good idea of the life that he will have if he does succeed at making it financially.
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As the one who mentioned the "Island chooses her children" phenomenon, let me "de-woowoo" it a bit. Due to its isolation, the Island forces us to decide what's important in our life, because whatever we want is either here or it's not. If you live on the mainland and you have a hankering for something (be it a material object, 3-D movies, specific restaurants, etc.) you can generally scratch the itch with a reasonable degree of effort. That's frequently not the case here. So if Chris's son is a "stuff" type person or a guy who depends on external services for his well being and happiness, he might not like it here. I suspect, for many who leave, that is there motivation - in their estimation, Hawaii is too close to an underdeveloped country for their liking. On the other hand, for many of us there is a certain freedom that comes from the realization that we really don't need as much "stuff" as we thought we did on the mainland. Yes, I do miss my In 'n Out Burgers and many other of life's divine pleasures, but I'll gladly put up with the deprivation in exchange for the friendships and amazing sights, sounds and experiences that Hawaii offers.
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quote:
Originally posted by Mauka
...Put your kids in public school and they will have many problems with the local kids unless they are quite exceptional. Private school is very expensive and the best one is pretty far away in Waimea.
I disagree with this statement. I have haole kids in both the elementary and high school in Pahoa and am more than pleased with the results I am getting and I am very picky about their education. Please don't use the old stereotypes against Pahoa schools if you don't currently have children there. It is a whole new ballgame there.
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Aki,I started this tread to let the other one stay on topic.
I never intended to discuss my son and said so from the very beginning.
As far as me being familiar with the website features -
Bjarne Stroustrup.
Mdd7000 - Sorry, you're right. My statement about hte schools goes back about 20 years. I'm very happy that things have changed that much. I guess I'm pretty reclusive and pretty much out of touch. I think it's great if kids are getting along better. Sorry for the mis statement
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I think KeaauRich brings up a good point. The island is quite isolated and much closer to an underdeveloped country than you will likely find anywhere else in the U.S.A.; and there is acceptance for behaviors out here that are no longer social norms on the mainland.
Hawaii to me is like a beautiful woman with some unsavory characteristics. Those characteristics may not bother you, they might be a problem. But the beauty of Hawaii is undeniable and very easy to appreciate.
However I don't think KeaauRich intended his post to be taken this way but it does remind me that many of those that love it out here have the viewpoint that they are rejecting the materialism and lifestyle of the mainland and they are better people for it. He mentioned "depending on external...for their happiness" and not needing "stuff" to be happy. Its just as easy to live a non-materialistic existence on the mainland, its a choice.
There is an attitude you will find in Hawaii that if you prefer the mainland then its because you are materialistic and too "Type A" to enjoy island life. Its a kind of Island Smugness. It reminds me of something I heard from a Buddhist about the trap of piety if you allow it to lead to self-congratulation.
Because of how I grew up I know that you don't need money or things to be happy. And I grew up in a very rural isolated town in farm country so can't say that its unfamiliarity with the rural lifestyle. You can't assume that if someone isn't enchanted by Hawaii its because they need an SUV and a McMansion.
To the original poster Chris if you want more details on what I consider to be drawbacks to the island I would feel better about responding to a personal e-mail. I'm not on here to bash Hawaii or question why people love it. I would no sooner question their choice of spouse.
Also to KeaauRich, I am not trying to start a internet sparring match. Your post reminded me of some things I've experienced in Hawaii, I know it may sound like I made assumptions about your message. Your message simply brought up some thoughts. I'm not trying to win; just offer a different perspective.
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