Is Anyone Else on PunaWeb Sick of This?

[leilaniguy]

Some people just love a good train wreck, some so much so they grease the tracks to guarantee it. I can usually tell when something's gonna turn into a hot wet mess and try not to step in it.

[hawaiideborah]

quote:

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Originally posted by csgray

There is a whole set of guys who seem to just wait for Kathy H. to post so they can jump all over her, not one of them has been on Punaweb as long as she has, so she was part of the landscape when they got here. They need to just get over it, and ignore her posts if they don't like her style.

Carol

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What I find over and over here on punaweb is that the new members are blamed for bad behavior. I agree that some new members have attacked, but so have the older or "original" members.
I myself have had a learning curve of what to bite on and what to let go. Lately I just try to let it go. I think there is some time for newbees to figure out how and when to post and what to post. I certainly regret some of my earlier posts. I have hung in there and now attempt to be a good member with hopefully some helpful imput. I still enjoy punaweb, but it was an education for me on what, when and how to post. In my experience with being called names it all came from older members, three of which no longer post here.
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csgray:
I have absolutely seen this attacking of KathyH posts over and over. This was from OLD posters, not the newer members.
Two of these attackers of KathyH are now gone from punaweb.
The most recent attack on her was from the thread about rotten smell in Hilo and that attack was also from someone who has been a punaweb member for a long while. NOT a newer member.
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Just wanted to point out that the idea of attackers being the newer folks to punaweb is not entirely true. One "original" punaweb members who posted on this thread was himself a recent name caller on another thread here on punaweb (moving to big island thread).

In addition two of the posters on this thread who are older members also post over on another puna blog encouraging and supporting statements about how awful punaweb is. They call punaweb "the swamp". You know who you are, I am just surprised you are trying to point fingers at new punaweb members when you older "original" members of punaweb support statements sluring punaweb.

Just wanted to correct the posts that these attackers are the new members. Some are, but especially the ones who attacked KathyH and the ones who name call are the older members.

[punaticbychoice]

I in general agree with Rob.
There are just some people out there who want to shut down tolerant, civil discourse.
You know who you are.

[missydog1]

Maybe it is fair to say that there's been a shift in what posters feel they can get away with in terms of incivility. I agree with Rob that these troubled and anxious times are the breeding ground for an escalation of this type of behavior.

I undertand Rob's philosophy about ignoring baiting. That works great for a troll who cruises by. Unfortunately, the practice of ignoring the disruption doesn't work in all situations. Punaweb has been experiencing not so much trolling, but rather scapegoating. I'm not the only poster who has experienced it. In a sense, the whole Punaweb forum has been turned into a scapegoat.

Punaweb can either become more conscious of this pattern or push it under the surface, but ignoring it does not neutralize it. Ignoring garden-variety trolling does work, and has been proven to work, because the person loses interest without a reaction.

Scapegoating does not rely on getting a rise or reaction for its psychological payoff. The payoff with scapegoating is that that hostility and aggression can be displaced onto a third party -- ideally a person or group that doesn't fight back -- or doesn't get enough support from the others for the fight to be successful. Even if the person doesn't react, the payoff is unaffected. Resistance, preferably by the whole community, is the way to stop the pattern.

"Don't feed the trolls" is effective with one type of internet misbehavior, but ignoring the issue actually enables certain other types of harassment.

[LaurelJ]

Rob, when you say don't take the bait , my son says it to me another way,

"Don't feed the trolls.". :-).

I still love Puna web, though I am mostly a lurker I love Puna, period and MOST of ya all are my direct connection when I am stuck here on the mainland. I've have learned to just ignore the trouble makers, and to NEVER feed the trolls[:I]

[konadave]

Being one of those that has been on the end of the attacks by others I mostly just lurk now. I will let those who have the desire and the ability to attack do so towards others.

I do occasionally only post in threads that have little to no possibility of controversy and therefore I have so far avoided the attacks.

As long as those who have a tendancy to offer up attacks are still allowed to post here I will mostly stay in the background.

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[Alex]

quote:

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Originally posted by Kapohocat

On another forum I visit, a situation happened and the person attacked was very polite with his explanation, (and I had thought OH NO HERE WE GO! ) The person attacking apologized nicely when he realized he was incorrect.... and you would be surprised at who the party was.

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That was Tom Lackey.And I don't think Rob will remove his name or this post like people on Puna Online claim.

[John S. Rabi]

quote:

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Originally posted by hawaiideborah
They call punaweb "the swamp". You know who you are, I am just surprised you are trying to point fingers at new punaweb members when you older "original" members of punaweb support statements sluring punaweb.

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I think this statement clearly indicates the bad intentions I was referring to in my post. The quote-unquote of "original members" is a clear reference to my previous post, while I have never ever called punaweb a "swamp" anywhere. Not that it matters, but you are correct with the "you know who you are."

I made lots of friends on punaweb, some I have never even met! They sent me me frozen deep dish pizza from Chicago; cheesecake from New York; Blair's Mega Death hot sauce; etc. I helped many with settling down here, with their businesses, and in fact, one of those friend members actually has been working for me in Puna for more than a year now. Somehow, I can't see the same thing ever happening with any of the newer members some of the old-timers referred to in this thread. Not that it matters either.

Aloha,
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[MarkP]

I'll just say that I have noticed the change in recent months. I nearly got sucked in too when someone accused me of being a "sock Puppet". There is a great temptation to respond which it is best to suppress.

[missydog1]

Responding is a judgment call. If you think there's some chance you could be friends with the person, then answering a reasonable criticism is about the only way to look for middle ground.

Re the complaints about people like me who don't stick to the letter of the topic here, I had an idea a couple months ago, which I'll put out there as something to bat around.

Some people here want to discuss an issue. Some people want to talk story about life on the island. The strictly on topic people get restive with the talk story folks.

Talk story is a huge part of the culture here. If we weren't on a forum, and were sitting on a lanai, I bet not too many people would flip out if someone went off on a tangent.

What about a Puna Talk Story forum, where people could chat casually and not get chastised for engaging in free association? A forum where there would be a civility rule. Be nice. Don't go off on people. If you feel mean and snarky, just don't say anything. If you bite someone's head off, you get a warning. Three warnings and you're banned from that forum.

I think it would be nice to have a forum where it's safe to simply socialize and talk about personal stuff, be silly, have fun. I sense that people miss that.

The existing Punatalk (or whatever the name) would be for the strict exchange of information and ideas, where ideologies may clash, and personalities may collide a bit, and people endeavor to stay on topic.

I know there are some who wouldn't believe it of me, but in forums that are dedicated to certain hobbies, I am one of the most on topic people, and I get totally annoyed when people go all over the map. I've always seen Punaweb as more like a living room, and that's why I would share anecdotes. It's become clear to me that some people want Punaweb topics to be very linear. I can understand that, although not the rudeness.

But maybe there could also be a place for non-linear conversations.

Just an idea in rough form.
ETA -- no worries, I don't have any desire for a forum to talk a lot of personal stories of my own at this point. Too much water under the bridge. I'm thinking of what might be nice for the people in the community who want a snark free insult free zone where they can discuss stuff without worrying if it's important to the people who want to discuss big news and big ideas.