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Deathbed Looters
#1
Being conservative(not politics)& ethical in our beliefs and practices my wife and I were totally blindsided by what happened to our neighbors - the best of friends, as good as neighbors can be. We were sad when D got a wasting disease and passed on maybe 4 years ago, and the survivor so overwhelmed by the feeling and logistics of loss admitting not wanting to stick around. Within a year J had successfully drunk, smoked, and grieved into terminal cancer.

During the descent, a person showed up, functionally as a beer and cigarette go-fer, since we only offered food and non-detrimental essentials. As J neared the end requiring hospice services, this person began to spend nights as a caregiver. Eventually, the unofficial caregiver recommended full time sedation to hospice based on claimed experience as an ER nurse. So, when Js relatives arrived to say goodbye, they were unable to communicate and J passed away shortly without post mortem wishes being known. Even while J was still alive, we started noticing things disappearing, like a new Stihl weed eater, & within a week of J's passing various groups of people divided & hauled off most of the house contents, which were considerable and tasteful for Puna. Early on, my wife and I as best friends were asked to attend to D&J's estate, so we agreed to make sure assets were distributed to surviving family. But since the caregiver had attended J personally more than we could towards the end, we all assumed this person's take charge attitude had been requested by J.

My wife and I were totally unprepared for this kind of scam, and it wasn't until the house was gutted along with money J had mentioned was stashed and a possible will that we began to wonder if we had been duped, along with Js relatives who got nothing. So, in the end, the caregiver drove off in D&Js vehicle and that persons friends were squatting in the house to this day.

Edit: on a happier note, we spread D&Js ashes in the sea, together forever.

Aloha aina, aloha kai
Aloha aina, aloha kai
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#2
Another example of chicanery that could have been easily averted by some simple advance planning. Everyone over the age of 50 should have a trust and a will to prevent this crap. Makes me sick to my stomach to hear these stories again and again.
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#3
Your letting people squat in a house of your dead friend right next to you, and you think the best thing to do is to post about it on a webforum and not tell them to get the **** out of there ?
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#4
Are they squatting or did your friend sign everything over to this so-called 'caregiver'?
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#5
where were the relatives prior to the final days? With relatives like that, maybe the "caregiver" deserved it all.

comin' your way soon!
comin' your way soon!
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#6
Often family is tied up on the mainland with kids and/or jobs that don't allow them to travel to Hawaii for an extended time, that is one of the issues with moving so far from family when people move here. I know that for either of my daughters trying to come here to take care of me for an extended time (if I needed it which I don't yet) would mean losing their homes because like most Americans they don't have the kind of jobs or incomes that allow for months away with no income.

It is easy to be judgmental about strangers whose circumstances you don't know.

Carol
Carol

Every time you feel yourself getting pulled into other people's nonsense, repeat these words: Not my circus, not my monkeys.
Polish Proverb
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#7
Posted as a headsup for others as naive as my wife & I. Of course, we could have sic-ed law enforcement on the squatters but they turned out to be decent and maintain the place neatly. Since D&Js house was underwater, the relatives, who could only stay for a week, declined to assume the debt service, and the mortgage company repo-ed. For all concerned, seems better to have occupants to maintain the premises and discourage looting of the structure.

Aloha aina, aloha kai
Aloha aina, aloha kai
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#8
Then consider it an even deal.
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