Crime in Seaview

[Guest]

I was recently told that Seaview is a place where there is a lot of unreported crime and A LOT of drug dealers. More so then many other places on this island.

Does anyone know where I can find statistics on crimes in Seaview and why is it this way?

Damon Tucker's Weblog

[Greg]

I've heard rumors that seaview is a haven to a large population of unregistered jugglers. I'm looking into it.

[Jon]

dope smoking jugglers... they are the worst...


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I do not believe that America is better than everybody else...
America "IS" everybody else.

[punafish]

I'm pretty sure the jugglers unicycles aren't registered either...

[Guest]

As long as the clowns are licensed... I'll back off the subject.

But I have heard of some hooligans in the area.

Damon Tucker's Weblog

[leilaniguy]

Everyone who lives in Puna is a hooligan. Ask anybody who DOESN'T live here.

[Kelena]

I was wondering when someone was going to point out that Seaview was a romper room for libertines and unlicensed jugglers and so-called acrobats. The positions these acrobats get into are more like the Kama Sutra than Ringling Brothers, if you get my drift. As for the jugglers, mostly they juggle what God gave them. The libertines annoy me the most, because they aren't just libertines. No, they are exclusive libertines --almost a contradiction in terms-- who only associate with one another, and refuse to let old, imperfect guys up on the lanai where all the fun takes place and refuse to take a hint.

I hate Seaview. It is a veritable vortex of vice. And everytime I get near, I get tossed back up on the beach, unceremoniously.

[Greg]

You're lucky Glen. I can't even lay on the beach anymore without some well meaning hippies trying to push me back into the water........

[Chuysmom]

I'll have what Glen's having.[:X]

Carrie Rojo

http://www.carrierojo.etsy.com


"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek." Barack Obama

[JerryCarr]

Bear and I know these two visitors from New York who managed to get lost in Seaview. You may be asking, "How does one get lost in Seaview?" Well, you would have to know these two guys to really understand, and it WAS night. They weren't even supposed to be in Seaview, but turned in there by mistake. Anyway after wandering around the fringes of the subdivision for half an hour or so without finding a way out, they decided to go knock on the door of the next house they came to and ask for directions. Big mistake.

Now these two visitors were an air traffic controller and his skinny, hyperactive Dominican boyfriend who grew up in Spanish Harlem, and for some reason they both went to the house. The guy who answered the door was apparently expecting someone else because he was holding a huge bag of marijuana. (The Dominican said it was about seven pounds, and he would know.) The guy answering door threw down the pot and pulled out a rusty revolver which he proceeded to wave while screaming in Japanese. Air traffic controller guy starts backing away from the door while murmuring soothingly about how sorry he is to bother anyone.

Now the Dominican boyfriend is from Spanish Freaking Harlem and isn't afraid of any damn thing. He starts screaming back at the guy with the gun, "Where the hell you think you are? This ain't Afghanistan! This ain't the effing jungle! Oh wait, maybe it IS the jungle, but you can't act like this. And who in their right effing mind answers the door like that!" Air traffic controller guy is at the point of soiling his pants when Dominican boyfriend says, "I'm late for dinner and can't deal with you now." He then calmly walked back to the car, followed by cowering air traffic controller guy. Somehow nobody got shot.

So this would be a good time to find a way out of Seaview, but nooooo. They're still lost, and after driving another ten minutes or so find themselves back in front of Japanese pot guy's house. He is still looking for his REAL visitor and begins screaming and waving his gun in the street when he sees the two visitors again. This time, they speed away and find the way out.

Bear and I know all these details because we got to listen to air traffic controller guy chewing out Dominican boyfriend and repeating all the details for the next three days. Dominican boyfriend got dumped as soon as they got back to the mainland.

Yes, Virginia, there is crime in Seaview and criminal stupidity all over everywhere.

Cheers,
Jerry