03-11-2010, 08:36 AM
It would be better to stick to topic instead of arguing. Really... he said, she said, finger pointing..... sheesh!
I am currently in New York. Had to leave on only a couple days notice with no idea when I will be back. One of my old and dear high school friends arrived for her first visit with us in over 10 years. I had to leave the day after! So I laid it on the line. "We are in a drought; navy showers and dishes washed once a day. Minimal laundry. IF the water runs out, it's $150 for a delivery and you could have to do without for a few days as the trucks are overwhelmed. I have a car for you to use, but you have to worry about gas and such. The grocery store in in Hilo on the back of the mall. There are usually specials on the end caps for meat. Farmers market is best for veggies. Pantry has some stuff too". She said she appreciated knowing how things are, she has been cooking for Bob at least a couple times a week. We told her our routine too. He leaves early for work, needs to use the library in the evenings privately to either do work or have wind down time". She said she appreciated knowing such things run and that it made it easier for her to know how to plan her time and activities so everyone can have a little fun and be comfortable. She even phoned me in New York to ask about feeding the chickens a treat when she goes and gathers eggs.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is a friend! All others.... have those brochures of web sites for the B&B's, hotels, etc. If parents aren't reigning in their kids behaviors, do it for them. It is your house. Polite explanations are very fair. They just don't get island life. It is different from home. That is, after all, why they are vacationing here... something different.
WE come from another vacation destination, San Diego. Whenever we had company we told them the same things. "Remember we are not on vacation even though you are. We want you to have a wonderful time so here s how it can work. " Once someone tried to "negotiate" on details I laid out and I promptly sent them a brochure from a local bed and breakfast. They got the point right away.
If the visitors are really your friends and family, they should accept your limits and routines gratefully. If not, why are you even hosting them? I know it has always been helpful to start the conversation or email with the statement "I want you to have a wonderful vacation and I am really looking forward to having you visit. Just remember we are not on vacation and here is our routine. You will need to rent a car. The grocery store is located....." It is easy for everyone to be straightforward. If anyone asked me to take them to breakfast after turning down what I cooked, II would simply say "Gosh, I ate when I cooked and am not hungry now. You guys go ahead (because I would have straightened out the transportation issue) and don't be in a rush. We can meet up sometime this evening. Call me and maybe I will have you bring Pizza{. Trust me, they get it. IF they are offended, tough!
The caveat to this attitude is that if it is your mother, you have to shut up and suffer all the unreasonable stuff... it's payback for your resistance from potty-training through the teen years!
Please, everyone laugh and lighten up.
I want to be the kind of woman that, when my feet
hit the floor each morning, the devil says
"Oh Crap, She's up!"
I am currently in New York. Had to leave on only a couple days notice with no idea when I will be back. One of my old and dear high school friends arrived for her first visit with us in over 10 years. I had to leave the day after! So I laid it on the line. "We are in a drought; navy showers and dishes washed once a day. Minimal laundry. IF the water runs out, it's $150 for a delivery and you could have to do without for a few days as the trucks are overwhelmed. I have a car for you to use, but you have to worry about gas and such. The grocery store in in Hilo on the back of the mall. There are usually specials on the end caps for meat. Farmers market is best for veggies. Pantry has some stuff too". She said she appreciated knowing how things are, she has been cooking for Bob at least a couple times a week. We told her our routine too. He leaves early for work, needs to use the library in the evenings privately to either do work or have wind down time". She said she appreciated knowing such things run and that it made it easier for her to know how to plan her time and activities so everyone can have a little fun and be comfortable. She even phoned me in New York to ask about feeding the chickens a treat when she goes and gathers eggs.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is a friend! All others.... have those brochures of web sites for the B&B's, hotels, etc. If parents aren't reigning in their kids behaviors, do it for them. It is your house. Polite explanations are very fair. They just don't get island life. It is different from home. That is, after all, why they are vacationing here... something different.
WE come from another vacation destination, San Diego. Whenever we had company we told them the same things. "Remember we are not on vacation even though you are. We want you to have a wonderful time so here s how it can work. " Once someone tried to "negotiate" on details I laid out and I promptly sent them a brochure from a local bed and breakfast. They got the point right away.
If the visitors are really your friends and family, they should accept your limits and routines gratefully. If not, why are you even hosting them? I know it has always been helpful to start the conversation or email with the statement "I want you to have a wonderful vacation and I am really looking forward to having you visit. Just remember we are not on vacation and here is our routine. You will need to rent a car. The grocery store is located....." It is easy for everyone to be straightforward. If anyone asked me to take them to breakfast after turning down what I cooked, II would simply say "Gosh, I ate when I cooked and am not hungry now. You guys go ahead (because I would have straightened out the transportation issue) and don't be in a rush. We can meet up sometime this evening. Call me and maybe I will have you bring Pizza{. Trust me, they get it. IF they are offended, tough!
The caveat to this attitude is that if it is your mother, you have to shut up and suffer all the unreasonable stuff... it's payback for your resistance from potty-training through the teen years!
Please, everyone laugh and lighten up.
I want to be the kind of woman that, when my feet
hit the floor each morning, the devil says
"Oh Crap, She's up!"
I want to be the kind of woman that, when my feet
hit the floor each morning, the devil says
"Oh Crap, She's up!"
hit the floor each morning, the devil says
"Oh Crap, She's up!"