Good Jokes

[dragon2k]

Going to bed the other night, I noticed people in my tool shed stealing things. I phoned the police but they said that no one was in the area and that they would send someone as soon as possible. I hung up. A minute later I called again. "Hello" I said, "I called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. You don't have to hurry now because I've shot them." Within minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, plus helicopters and a swat team. They caught the burglars red handed. One of the officers: "I thought you said you'd shot them." To which I replied: "I thought you said there was no one available."
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'Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?'

'Yes. What can I do for you?'

'I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith....He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there.'

'Thank you very much for the call, sir.'

The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.

Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.

'Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd....Did the Sheriff come?'

'Yeah!'

'Did they chop your firewood?'

'Yep!'

'Happy Birthday, buddy!'