04-03-2014, 05:03 AM
Not needing to be happy to be happy may be one way to be happy. But that is not the Western --and certainly not the American-- way. We grab life by the scruff of the neck and drink it down like a vampire does the blood of a 16 year old girl in an alley. And then we go to the moon. Not because it is easy, but because it is hard. We are never "happy". I reflect on this sometimes when I see tourists who are living a dream of sorts. But you see them doing very mundane things, like shopping, and doing it a little diffidently. They are sometimes fatigued. I think "Well, here you are --- happy?" Happiness is not, as it appears, a consistent state that you can flick on like light and just leave on until the bulb burns out.
And unhappiness is vastly underrated and is, as it turns out, of great social utility. Would Billy Holiday (with whom I share a birthday!) have been worth listening to if she didn't know pain, sorrow and heartache, as in "Good Morning, Heartache"? Was Picasso "happy"? He looks grumpy in every single picture I have ever seen and his love life was wonderfully chaotic, resulting in the splintered, crying women you see in his paintings. Maya Angelou knows why the caged bird sings, and it is not because the bird is happy.
Happiness, romantic love (which not a consistent source of happiness), and the like are all (mostly) Western luxuries in a world of deprivation, hunger and woe. In many places in the world, you don't have the luxury of "falling in love" with someone. You marry him or her because they have the goats you need.
The preamble to the Declaration of Independence memorializes our right to the pursuit of happiness. I submit the pursuit itself is what makes you happy. As that immortal philosopher Matthew McConnaughey said when accepting his Oscar this year: 1) have something/someone to look up to, 2) have something to look forward to and 3) HAVE SOMETHING TO CHASE.
It is the pursuit that brings happiness. It is the reaching that brings happiness. And, as Browning said, your reach should always exceed your grasp or what's a heaven (or someone that looks like heaven!) for? It is not sufficient to sit at the edge of a tropical rain forest and stare at the ocean all day like a mental patient. There must always be something you are looking forward to (such as sitting at the edge of a tropical rain forest and staring at the ocean all day) and something to chase. Once you reach your goal, you have to make a new one right away.
Happiness and its necessary corollary, unhappiness --how can you recognize happiness when you see it if you've never been unhappy?, are in the pursuit of happiness. And that's the American Way -- we just get to chase it. We don't get to have it, at least not in perpetuity. With my upcoming and hopefully happy birthday in mind (chasing it!),I leave you with the words of our greatest living female philosopher, Dolly Parton:
People always comin' up to me and askin'
"Dolly, what's your secret?
With all you do, your attitude
Just seems to be so good
How do you keep it?"
Well, I'm not the Dalai Lama, but I'll try
To offer up a few words of advice.
You better get to livin', givin'
Don't forget to throw in a little forgivin'
And lovin' on the way
You better get to knowin', showin'
A little bit more concerned about where you're goin'
Just a word unto the wise
You better get to livin'.
A girlfriend came to my house
Started cryin' on my shoulder Sunday evening
She was spinnin' such a sad tale
I could not believe the yarn that she was weavin'
So negative the words she had to say
I said if I had a violin I'd play.
I said you'd better get to livin', givin'
Be willing and forgivin'
Cause all healing has to start with you
You better stop whining, pining
Get your dreams in line
And then just shine, design, refine
Until they come true
And you better get to livin'.
The day we're born we start to die
Don't waste one minute of this life
Get to livin'
Share your dreams and share your laughter
Make some points for the great hereafter.
Better start carin'
Better start sharin'
Better start tryin'
Better start smiling
And you better get to livin'...
And unhappiness is vastly underrated and is, as it turns out, of great social utility. Would Billy Holiday (with whom I share a birthday!) have been worth listening to if she didn't know pain, sorrow and heartache, as in "Good Morning, Heartache"? Was Picasso "happy"? He looks grumpy in every single picture I have ever seen and his love life was wonderfully chaotic, resulting in the splintered, crying women you see in his paintings. Maya Angelou knows why the caged bird sings, and it is not because the bird is happy.
Happiness, romantic love (which not a consistent source of happiness), and the like are all (mostly) Western luxuries in a world of deprivation, hunger and woe. In many places in the world, you don't have the luxury of "falling in love" with someone. You marry him or her because they have the goats you need.
The preamble to the Declaration of Independence memorializes our right to the pursuit of happiness. I submit the pursuit itself is what makes you happy. As that immortal philosopher Matthew McConnaughey said when accepting his Oscar this year: 1) have something/someone to look up to, 2) have something to look forward to and 3) HAVE SOMETHING TO CHASE.
It is the pursuit that brings happiness. It is the reaching that brings happiness. And, as Browning said, your reach should always exceed your grasp or what's a heaven (or someone that looks like heaven!) for? It is not sufficient to sit at the edge of a tropical rain forest and stare at the ocean all day like a mental patient. There must always be something you are looking forward to (such as sitting at the edge of a tropical rain forest and staring at the ocean all day) and something to chase. Once you reach your goal, you have to make a new one right away.
Happiness and its necessary corollary, unhappiness --how can you recognize happiness when you see it if you've never been unhappy?, are in the pursuit of happiness. And that's the American Way -- we just get to chase it. We don't get to have it, at least not in perpetuity. With my upcoming and hopefully happy birthday in mind (chasing it!),I leave you with the words of our greatest living female philosopher, Dolly Parton:
People always comin' up to me and askin'
"Dolly, what's your secret?
With all you do, your attitude
Just seems to be so good
How do you keep it?"
Well, I'm not the Dalai Lama, but I'll try
To offer up a few words of advice.
You better get to livin', givin'
Don't forget to throw in a little forgivin'
And lovin' on the way
You better get to knowin', showin'
A little bit more concerned about where you're goin'
Just a word unto the wise
You better get to livin'.
A girlfriend came to my house
Started cryin' on my shoulder Sunday evening
She was spinnin' such a sad tale
I could not believe the yarn that she was weavin'
So negative the words she had to say
I said if I had a violin I'd play.
I said you'd better get to livin', givin'
Be willing and forgivin'
Cause all healing has to start with you
You better stop whining, pining
Get your dreams in line
And then just shine, design, refine
Until they come true
And you better get to livin'.
The day we're born we start to die
Don't waste one minute of this life
Get to livin'
Share your dreams and share your laughter
Make some points for the great hereafter.
Better start carin'
Better start sharin'
Better start tryin'
Better start smiling
And you better get to livin'...