Cinders and Centipede Grass

[Kelena]

My nightmare: I wake up thirsty, get a glass, go to the sink, turn on the tap and water and a frog come pouring out. In horror, I drop the glass, shattering it. Looking up through the kitchen window, I see a red wall of molten flame heading my way. I reach for my jeans and pull them on. As I do, a burning sensation comes from my inner thigh. I pull my jeans down -- pausing to remember why I like me -- only to see a giant welt, and a half-crushed centipede. I run, with one pant leg on toward the door, only to get stung in the cheek by the biggest spider I have ever seen, who has cast his web across my door.

There, that should keep prices low until I get there.