05-19-2007, 07:25 AM
Jeff,
It is my experience that a percentage of people take kindness as weakness and it only encourages them to take advantage of you. Usually the people who think this way will make their attitude known to you early in the relationship and you can tell if gentle kindness will be effective with them or if 'tough love' is called for.
My learning experience was the neighbors in HSRE. After that experience the Universe gave me another chance to see if I had learned the lesson. I did. Don't be intimidated by threats.
Some individuals will continue to walk all over you unless you make a stand. In fact, I think it is never good to let others abuse you. If the law is on your side (and you can research this beforehand) I would counsel using every means at hand to protect yourself and your property, beginning with the least use of 'force.' In a boundary dispute with a neighbor of my mother, I first spoke with the renter of the property. (Well, actually, first I researched the heck out of the situation, going to the Title office to get maps, reading codes, making diagrams and taking pictures.) When I was ignored, I wrote a letter to the owner of the property, included a map and pictures and, most, importantly, indicated that I was going to pursue the matter with everything at my disposal--in a nice way, of course--no threats. I think it is important to let them know that you know the law and will use it to defend yourself if necessary. This worked and the fence they had built on my mother's property was removed.
Best case scenario: this will be all it takes to let your new neighnbors know you are not a push-over. This is the best way of getting the respect you deserve from clueless people.
If you have to take it further, then so be it. It is worth it to improve your living conditions and will, undoubtedly, forestall other incursions into your space in the future. People like these who are 'treated kindly' will only escalate because they can--they think you are weak.
One woman's thoughts on the subject...
april
It is my experience that a percentage of people take kindness as weakness and it only encourages them to take advantage of you. Usually the people who think this way will make their attitude known to you early in the relationship and you can tell if gentle kindness will be effective with them or if 'tough love' is called for.
My learning experience was the neighbors in HSRE. After that experience the Universe gave me another chance to see if I had learned the lesson. I did. Don't be intimidated by threats.
Some individuals will continue to walk all over you unless you make a stand. In fact, I think it is never good to let others abuse you. If the law is on your side (and you can research this beforehand) I would counsel using every means at hand to protect yourself and your property, beginning with the least use of 'force.' In a boundary dispute with a neighbor of my mother, I first spoke with the renter of the property. (Well, actually, first I researched the heck out of the situation, going to the Title office to get maps, reading codes, making diagrams and taking pictures.) When I was ignored, I wrote a letter to the owner of the property, included a map and pictures and, most, importantly, indicated that I was going to pursue the matter with everything at my disposal--in a nice way, of course--no threats. I think it is important to let them know that you know the law and will use it to defend yourself if necessary. This worked and the fence they had built on my mother's property was removed.
Best case scenario: this will be all it takes to let your new neighnbors know you are not a push-over. This is the best way of getting the respect you deserve from clueless people.
If you have to take it further, then so be it. It is worth it to improve your living conditions and will, undoubtedly, forestall other incursions into your space in the future. People like these who are 'treated kindly' will only escalate because they can--they think you are weak.
One woman's thoughts on the subject...
april
april