Volcano acting up

[Wegian]

I’ve been researching what people in other countries do to ward off volcanic eruptions. My findings so far include offerings of live animals, rice, fruit, and cow livers - which are to be thrown into the crater. People from villages surrounding Mount Kelud turn off all lights and only talk in whispers. Local farmers living on Mount Merapi run naked in circles around their villages.

Since I cannot be there to do this personally, could I ask some of my fellow Punatics to please climb up to the flow (after dark of course – and WITHOUT flashlights), dump in a bucket of coqui (to satisfy the live animal requirement), followed by a medley of rice and fruit, and a couple of cow’s livers. Afterwards, run naked laps around Hawaiian Acres while whispering to each other. Please - the fate of my lot may depend on it.