09-06-2008, 06:41 AM
hi again,
I totally agree that it is fair to represent both sides of the story here.
I agree with that intellectually, and yet when hikatz posted her defense of him I responded emotionally.
I responded emotionally, because hearing that everyone can be a bit rude, brought up some pain. Troy laid some major verbal abuse on me. A long time ago I experienced a couple relationships with men who drank and said horrible things to me, and I was young and I took it for too long. I am older now and I have a line you don't cross without me coming right back at you.
Saying that the way he acted was just a bit of rudeness that I might want to chalk up to him having a bad day, was to me much like saying to a battered wife, "he only hit you a little and because he had a bad day." So I responded to shut down the opinion that it was OK to treat me like that for any reason.
Verbal assault leaves a different kind of black and blue, but it's real. I was looking out my window today at my garden, which is beautiful to see, and there was this bad memory of this bad scene superimposed on it.
I would think that another woman would be able to relate to that.
I'm sorry, hikatz, I don't mean to shut you down. I am fine with you telling everyone about the good jobs Troy has done. I simply cannot handle the idea that it was excusable for him to go off on me that way.
What I should have done, I realized afterwards, is go in the house and get my camera with a video setting, and record the encounter. Perhaps he would have spoken and acted differently. But I was so shocked that I wasn't thinking on all cylinders.
Thank you Dick for saying that no one could talk to your wife that way, thus supporting that IF he said what I say he said, that is unacceptable. As I know I am repeating his words accurately, it at least makes ME feel better.
I have been posting at Punaweb for 14 months or so, commenting and advising and sometimes debating, but I have never come on here with some manufactured drama about my real life, and I hope that history speaks for something. That is all I have, that and pictures.
I am putting the photos on a private Webshots album, and if you want to see you can email me and I'll send you the link. The nature of the topography makes it impossible to show the whole thing in one photo, so it's a sequence. Rather than putting up one or two photos that I could pick out to show the worst, I'm just putting up the whole thing so as to give as unbiased a look as I can -- given that I was taking photos to document problems.
As for Troy coming back and speaking his side, I don't know how I can respond to the type of comeback that says "you are telling nothing but lies" -- which is all he said. If there's a difference of opinion about the job that can be discussed, cool. But he chose to take the route that I came on here to manufacture a story and tell lies.
Like I said in my original story, he went off on me for being a "thief" and planning not to pay him, and now I'm a liar. Calling someone names who hired you to do a job -- that is exactly my point about hiring Troy. Don't expect him to pull any punches and act like a professional. If it serves him best to call you a liar or a swindler, expect it. His own post bears out my point.
There are two reasons he might say that it's all lies on my part.
1) he takes the simple approach of discrediting people who don't accept his work of calling them liars. That could happen to you too.
2) He is somewhat delusional or deluded and believes what he's saying.
Possible. Again, try to work with someone that divorced from the real world who cannot even understand that you don't act that way and talk like that when you're in business and taking someone's money.
3) He's right, and I made up the whole thing. Why, who knows. I know I didn't.
This topic was not started to put Troy on trial. As Bob says, it's word against word.
I didn't start this to humiliate Troy or get him exposed on Google.
I started this topic so that the next person who reads Punaweb, who wants to hire Troy, does not go into the situation as blindly as I did -- predisposed to consider him honest, reliable, and professional.
I started out with a good opinion and that made me more receptive to his own hype about himself, and I let some things slide. I didn't protect myself with enough documentation as I would if I hired a guy straight out of the classifieds. Add to that I have a tendency to believe the best of people until proven otherwise.
I understand my mistake and I posted a caution to save trusting people like myself from heading down the same road. If you do hire him, get it all in writing, make him do the job over the table, discuss liability issues, make a written agreement that gets into what happens if he doesn't finish the job. Protect yourself. That is all.
I totally agree that it is fair to represent both sides of the story here.
I agree with that intellectually, and yet when hikatz posted her defense of him I responded emotionally.
I responded emotionally, because hearing that everyone can be a bit rude, brought up some pain. Troy laid some major verbal abuse on me. A long time ago I experienced a couple relationships with men who drank and said horrible things to me, and I was young and I took it for too long. I am older now and I have a line you don't cross without me coming right back at you.
Saying that the way he acted was just a bit of rudeness that I might want to chalk up to him having a bad day, was to me much like saying to a battered wife, "he only hit you a little and because he had a bad day." So I responded to shut down the opinion that it was OK to treat me like that for any reason.
Verbal assault leaves a different kind of black and blue, but it's real. I was looking out my window today at my garden, which is beautiful to see, and there was this bad memory of this bad scene superimposed on it.
I would think that another woman would be able to relate to that.
I'm sorry, hikatz, I don't mean to shut you down. I am fine with you telling everyone about the good jobs Troy has done. I simply cannot handle the idea that it was excusable for him to go off on me that way.
What I should have done, I realized afterwards, is go in the house and get my camera with a video setting, and record the encounter. Perhaps he would have spoken and acted differently. But I was so shocked that I wasn't thinking on all cylinders.
Thank you Dick for saying that no one could talk to your wife that way, thus supporting that IF he said what I say he said, that is unacceptable. As I know I am repeating his words accurately, it at least makes ME feel better.
I have been posting at Punaweb for 14 months or so, commenting and advising and sometimes debating, but I have never come on here with some manufactured drama about my real life, and I hope that history speaks for something. That is all I have, that and pictures.
I am putting the photos on a private Webshots album, and if you want to see you can email me and I'll send you the link. The nature of the topography makes it impossible to show the whole thing in one photo, so it's a sequence. Rather than putting up one or two photos that I could pick out to show the worst, I'm just putting up the whole thing so as to give as unbiased a look as I can -- given that I was taking photos to document problems.
As for Troy coming back and speaking his side, I don't know how I can respond to the type of comeback that says "you are telling nothing but lies" -- which is all he said. If there's a difference of opinion about the job that can be discussed, cool. But he chose to take the route that I came on here to manufacture a story and tell lies.
Like I said in my original story, he went off on me for being a "thief" and planning not to pay him, and now I'm a liar. Calling someone names who hired you to do a job -- that is exactly my point about hiring Troy. Don't expect him to pull any punches and act like a professional. If it serves him best to call you a liar or a swindler, expect it. His own post bears out my point.
There are two reasons he might say that it's all lies on my part.
1) he takes the simple approach of discrediting people who don't accept his work of calling them liars. That could happen to you too.
2) He is somewhat delusional or deluded and believes what he's saying.
Possible. Again, try to work with someone that divorced from the real world who cannot even understand that you don't act that way and talk like that when you're in business and taking someone's money.
3) He's right, and I made up the whole thing. Why, who knows. I know I didn't.
This topic was not started to put Troy on trial. As Bob says, it's word against word.
I didn't start this to humiliate Troy or get him exposed on Google.
I started this topic so that the next person who reads Punaweb, who wants to hire Troy, does not go into the situation as blindly as I did -- predisposed to consider him honest, reliable, and professional.
I started out with a good opinion and that made me more receptive to his own hype about himself, and I let some things slide. I didn't protect myself with enough documentation as I would if I hired a guy straight out of the classifieds. Add to that I have a tendency to believe the best of people until proven otherwise.
I understand my mistake and I posted a caution to save trusting people like myself from heading down the same road. If you do hire him, get it all in writing, make him do the job over the table, discuss liability issues, make a written agreement that gets into what happens if he doesn't finish the job. Protect yourself. That is all.