09-20-2008, 03:18 PM
1. Get a gun and learn how to use it. Ask a Texan if you get stuck.
2. Keep track of the time of night you hear this. It probably occurs on a Saturday about 9:00 p.m.
3. Watch for traffic heading to the location of the sound you heard. Take pictures of the license plates if you are close enough.
4. Go toward the sound.
5. Verify your suspicions.
6. Contact the Humane Society in Honolulu.
7. Tell them what you know and express your concern that local law enforcement might have connections to those staging the dogfights. Listen to their advice.
8. Arrange for a shopping trip to Honolulu. Say three days.
9. Put the gun in the car. Go back to the site of the dog fight.
10. Station yourself carefully behind an Ohia.
11. Blast the head off of the person who is the least drunk.
12. Leave quickly, and take the next flight to Honolulu. Shop, but be prudent -- this is Great Depression Two.
13. If you feel guilty, remember some humans are less valuable than some animals. If I see the Bud Lite Dog and Osama Bin Laden stuck on the railroad tracks, I am saving the Bud Lite Dog.
14. If that seems like too much trouble to you, contact the US Attorney in Honolulu and the Department of the Interior. Insist that they do something about what you suspect is occuring on Federal land.
15. This is satire and I don't mean a single word I have said above.
2. Keep track of the time of night you hear this. It probably occurs on a Saturday about 9:00 p.m.
3. Watch for traffic heading to the location of the sound you heard. Take pictures of the license plates if you are close enough.
4. Go toward the sound.
5. Verify your suspicions.
6. Contact the Humane Society in Honolulu.
7. Tell them what you know and express your concern that local law enforcement might have connections to those staging the dogfights. Listen to their advice.
8. Arrange for a shopping trip to Honolulu. Say three days.
9. Put the gun in the car. Go back to the site of the dog fight.
10. Station yourself carefully behind an Ohia.
11. Blast the head off of the person who is the least drunk.
12. Leave quickly, and take the next flight to Honolulu. Shop, but be prudent -- this is Great Depression Two.
13. If you feel guilty, remember some humans are less valuable than some animals. If I see the Bud Lite Dog and Osama Bin Laden stuck on the railroad tracks, I am saving the Bud Lite Dog.
14. If that seems like too much trouble to you, contact the US Attorney in Honolulu and the Department of the Interior. Insist that they do something about what you suspect is occuring on Federal land.
15. This is satire and I don't mean a single word I have said above.