07-30-2009, 02:51 PM
When I die, please do not memorialize me with white stick-on letters in the back window of your Ford Ranger, expressing your loving memory of me on your rusting and quickly-depreciating asset. Also, please do not take flowers to the place where that drunken, unlicensed, moke pulled out in front of me. Chances are, he is still driving around and he just might smack you as you kneel there sobbing. Please do the proper thing and make a donation in my name to The Fund for Widowed and Dependent Twinks. Do not weep for me. I am still there. Everytime you see a big hairy long-haired naked guy doing a handstand at Kehena, think of me. Look for me on the wind....of the cyclone that is coming this way and threatening to take the roof of my house on Kaloli Point and put it in your front yard in Mountain View. Did you catch the whiff of septic tank on the soft evening wind? That was me. I'll be in touch. Don't change. Lights on. Use a siren if you have one. Destroy all roadside displays in my "honor".