racism in Kea`au and Pahoa schools

[csgray]

I have worked at several schools with anti-bullying programs, and one thing I was surprised to have learned from all the research that has been done is that bullies DO NOT have self esteem issues. That is a myth. All the data shows that bullies usually have just fine self esteem, and the most recent brain research shows that the pleasure centers in their brains light up when inflicting pain on others. Most bullies also continue to bully as adults, both at home and in the workplace. The home environment of these kids may teach them to take pleasure from other people's pain but they aren't abusing others to mask their own feelings of pain; they do it because it feels good.

About the comments about the young man Kathy met having an axe to grind: from working with teenagers and adolescents on a daily basis I can honestly say that axe grinding is an adult response I rarely see in this age group. Kids feel stuff very deeply, and tend to be "quick to respond and slow to recover" which means that they hold onto their pain when an adult might just let it go and move on. That is probably why this young man unburdened himself to Kathy, he still had a lot of pain from his experience very close to the surface, but I highly doubt he was axe grinding. It is more likely he was just processing his pain in response to a sympathetic soul.

God knows it is hard enough to grow up in this world, being a racial, religious, physical, or mental minority is tough anywhere, here it is even tougher because one is trying to join a community where everyone else seems to be related and you are an outsider. Hawaii isn't unique in that, just ask anyone who ever tried to move into a small farming community with few outsiders. The rural county my parents moved me to as a child had about a dozen last names shared by 1,000 families, after 40+ years my parents finally aren't newcomers any more. I know of a nice young couple who tried to move to rural Maine and had their woodshed torched in January by the neighbors. Losing all your firewood in a Maine winter is serious business, because no one would sell them wood they had to leave. Their kid got beat up on the school bus daily and it certainly wasn't a race issue.

My last comment is that I have seen kids who for whatever reason have had a tough time at the huge regular DOE schools thrive at public charter schools. That includes both local and mainland kids of all races, incomes, and backgrounds. In the small inclusive environment of public charter schools many kids just feel safer being themselves, plus in a community of 120 instead of 2200 it is pretty hard to single out classmates for harassment and not get called on for being a jerk.

Carol