Oh I am so sorry that another person is in this situation.
I cannot live with or near Tom. Two separate docs I saw for emergencies in Hilo told me that with the medical care I need, I cannot live there. So I live in California. It is unfair. Illness is unfair. But what I decided was that there was no point in trying to live in Hawai'i when being there I might just not live, period.
Years ago a friend of mine from Hawai'i needed a good job so she could help put her much younger brother through college. I think she lived near a Hawaiian community on the mainland.
When I learned I was ill with something that might last my lifetime, I had just aged out of my parents' health insurance at age 23. I have lived in poverty many decades since, all of my adult life. My trials to work didn't work. I was too sick. And I have had to be on welfare health care, a nightmare from hell that has mostly ruined my life because I have a weird situation. A lot of other people are facing the same but it does not sound like you will have to deal with this, at least one small blessing. It makes a difference if you have to have medical care all the time; I think I am like weekly.
. I do hang on to what good things I do have but the never-ending problems to sort out and threats to losing coverage have made me a lot sicker than I even needed to be and definitely affected my quality of life.
Now, I am facing a death sentence. Doctors agree with me. Republicans support the Ryan budget, which will change Medicare in a way that I might not get any coverage, and certainly not enough coverage. In addition, almost any cut to Medicaid will knock me off of it, due to my small disability income. This will probably be true even if they take that income away, which I think has already passed the House. Obama, a very unpopular president, stands between me and kicking the bucket! My only hope is Hillary, whom a lot of people don't like, whether for good or not so good reasons. This is a crazy situation but I actually knew people who died due to losing their government coverage, so "that will never happen" just isn't true.
But the odds of you ending up in this situation are remote so don't worry. A lot of the best places still have charity care, for example. If you don't need it every five minutes. And charity can be at higher incomes than one would expect.
Anyway, at age 23 due to the structure of health care access I lost any chance of good health, a career, even marriage, no husband could afford even my copays for my medical bills. I had worked really hard in school and excelled, had a high IQ, mom borrowed against the house to send me to a top college, I didn't do well there because I got sicker and sicker and couldn't find out what it was because Rhode Island didn't have the very top of the top medical care, did graduate, and then got a bad diagnosis of severe lupus. Mom lost the house when my stepfather died suddenly.
So my point is that it is just not fair. And it is not fair this happened to you...something so serious, meaning you really should not live in your beloved home. I understand. I'm in the same boat.
You know what decision I would make because I already made it...live near enough to the health care I need. I feel I chose life. I also feel it wasn't really my choice. I've made the best of it. I live in a really beautiful and peaceful place. Tonight I go to a scholarship paid non-graded piano class which I can miss due to illness and not get kicked out. Eight weeks! Although I will miss the last one because Tom is visiting [
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I treasure every happiness I get and the people who keep saving my life. And I know I not only need the best docs, but their support staff and top facilities. I had an X-ray done in Hilo once that had to be done again when I got back home. A simple x-ray! Quality not good enough; missed a pneumonia.
My heart breaks for you. I pray that you receive all the help you need, including God's, to make this hard decision. Please let me know if I can help in any way. Info, a place to stay, transportation...someone to talk to. Whatever decision you make, you have my support, love, and prayers.
Pam in CA
