When you visit friends in Hawaii....

[Rob Tucker]

SH, I think you are being way too judgmental.

Relax.

[StillHope]

Well,Rob,with your blessing this thread can go the interesting way.

So suggesting to talk to a guest before or in the process

is being judgmental?

[Rob Tucker]

The way you pursue it it is. But unfortunately the topic is getting hijacked.... it wasn't necessary.

[Greg]

If I turn on the hot water in the kitchen, anyone in the shower quickly exits screaming. Problem solved.[8D]

Stoneface

[StillHope]

Hijacking is changing the subject.
So far we are discussing how to handle guests or give them a clue.

My suggestion is - talk to a person ,explain about water catchment for example.
If you are not comfortable,you can ask a friend or a relative do it for you.

[pslamont]

It would be better to stick to topic instead of arguing. Really... he said, she said, finger pointing..... sheesh!

I am currently in New York. Had to leave on only a couple days notice with no idea when I will be back. One of my old and dear high school friends arrived for her first visit with us in over 10 years. I had to leave the day after! So I laid it on the line. "We are in a drought; navy showers and dishes washed once a day. Minimal laundry. IF the water runs out, it's $150 for a delivery and you could have to do without for a few days as the trucks are overwhelmed. I have a car for you to use, but you have to worry about gas and such. The grocery store in in Hilo on the back of the mall. There are usually specials on the end caps for meat. Farmers market is best for veggies. Pantry has some stuff too". She said she appreciated knowing how things are, she has been cooking for Bob at least a couple times a week. We told her our routine too. He leaves early for work, needs to use the library in the evenings privately to either do work or have wind down time". She said she appreciated knowing such things run and that it made it easier for her to know how to plan her time and activities so everyone can have a little fun and be comfortable. She even phoned me in New York to ask about feeding the chickens a treat when she goes and gathers eggs.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is a friend! All others.... have those brochures of web sites for the B&B's, hotels, etc. If parents aren't reigning in their kids behaviors, do it for them. It is your house. Polite explanations are very fair. They just don't get island life. It is different from home. That is, after all, why they are vacationing here... something different.

WE come from another vacation destination, San Diego. Whenever we had company we told them the same things. "Remember we are not on vacation even though you are. We want you to have a wonderful time so here s how it can work. " Once someone tried to "negotiate" on details I laid out and I promptly sent them a brochure from a local bed and breakfast. They got the point right away.

If the visitors are really your friends and family, they should accept your limits and routines gratefully. If not, why are you even hosting them? I know it has always been helpful to start the conversation or email with the statement "I want you to have a wonderful vacation and I am really looking forward to having you visit. Just remember we are not on vacation and here is our routine. You will need to rent a car. The grocery store is located....." It is easy for everyone to be straightforward. If anyone asked me to take them to breakfast after turning down what I cooked, II would simply say "Gosh, I ate when I cooked and am not hungry now. You guys go ahead (because I would have straightened out the transportation issue) and don't be in a rush. We can meet up sometime this evening. Call me and maybe I will have you bring Pizza{. Trust me, they get it. IF they are offended, tough!

The caveat to this attitude is that if it is your mother, you have to shut up and suffer all the unreasonable stuff... it's payback for your resistance from potty-training through the teen years!

Please, everyone laugh and lighten up.



I want to be the kind of woman that, when my feet
hit the floor each morning, the devil says

"Oh Crap, She's up!"

[kani-lehua]

this thread was started by carol with suggestions/helpful hints on what to do? how to act? what to say? etc. when visitors do just that, visit. she has obviously learned from those experiences hence the reason for starting the thread in the first place.

i don't know carol personally, but it sounds as though she was very generous and got taken advantage of by some of her visitors (as were others). one can lay down the rules, but some people just won't/don't get it.



"a great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."

w. james

[StillHope]

quote:

---

Originally posted by pslamont

So I laid it on the line. "We are in a drought; navy showers and dishes washed once a day. Minimal laundry. IF the water runs out, it's $150 for a delivery and you could have to do without for a few days as the trucks are overwhelmed. I have a car for you to use, but you have to worry about gas and such.
....
It is easy for everyone to be straightforward.

---

That what I was trying to say - be straightforward.Talk to your guest.

Or ask Pam do do it for you[]

(Disclaimer : I am not attacking Pam[])

[Carey]

OH GOODIE, Pam even gave me an excuse for not laying into the niece, for she was visiting with hubbies MOM, so as Pam said, you grin & bear it... (it is her favorite niece, after all...

I think that everyone is in agreement on the bestest (my own word!) response to guests, be upfront with your expectations, limits & such, and it always best to have it in writing & mentioned before the guests stray, and we all wish our guests were well trained like Kapohocats' great friend....

We have had stunning examples of great guests, (one of the reasons why those that are not strike us off balance, are the great ones) but there are also those that are no so great, and it is a very good practice to make sure all of your guests "know here they stand"

[pslamont]

Kani... a great trick on the shower thing is to go to the breaker box and shut of the hot water!!! I know, that's mean... but no more mean than you getting up for work and having no water to shower........

I am just BAADDDDDDD