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Haoles and Friends
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03-17-2014, 07:52 AM
Everyone has something to say, but no one has answered the question.
Dont worry about me, I will be just fine, although I appreciate your concern. The question still remains... How long did it take for you to pick it up... 3 months ? 3 years ? Never ? 
03-17-2014, 08:06 AM
There are exceptions to what 4antares said, I had a coworker who joined a canoe club that was mostly Hawaiian/local paddlers who was accepted by her fellow paddlers and ended up picking up a fair amount of pidgin that way, as well as a "local" boyfriend whose family were ready for them to get married after the 3rd date. I think the difference is that with the paddlers you prove yourself on the water, if you can work with your team, you become one of them, no matter where you come from. I know others who have had the same experience through their churches and volunteering. If you show up at the food bank every week and do your thing without trying to tell everyone how it was done "back home" you will be accepted.
I think anywhere with a high turn over population has a reticence to embrace new people; when we lived in Eugene, Or. there was a tendency to wait to see if people made it through their first rainy winter, because you get really tired of investing time into getting to know people and then they move when they can't handle 4 months of gray skies and rain. That is just human nature, and then it gets multiplied by the factors unique to Hawaii and the Big Island. The other thing that is specific to the "local" culture is the fact that families are big and extended and are often more important than friends. I have had many students tell me that their grandparents tell them "Eh, who needs friends, you have cousins.!" That may be an old school attitude, but it is reflected in overall attitudes about making friends with newcomers here. Small rural communities everywhere tend to not accept newcomers, my parents were still referred to as new people after 20 years in the Midwestern farm town I grew up in, after close to 50 years they were finally considered "local" to that community, judging from the number of long term residents at my mother's memorial service. Carol edited to add: Oneself, I think people have answered your question, it varies from person to person, anywhere from weeks to never, depending on the person.
Carol
Every time you feel yourself getting pulled into other people's nonsense, repeat these words: Not my circus, not my monkeys. Polish Proverb
03-17-2014, 08:14 AM
I was looking for personal peoples answers out of their personal experience.
Here in SoFlo, there is also a huge turnover, especially since we have "snow birds" who only live here half the year.
03-17-2014, 10:11 AM
It will vary, person to person, IMO. You sound like the kind of person that assimilates well - but don't force it. You will naturally pick up the inflection of the local cadence on the BI once you've been here a few months.
I can't help but shift my cadence when speaking to someone with a local accent, it just happens....tacking on "yeah?" at the end of sentences, saying things like "how you?" or "howzit?". Not intentional, but my pidgin doesn't go beyond that. And I'd feel ridiculous if it did - it's not my heritage. Pidgin is not a sign of ignorance, rather, it is the language of home, community, & one that indicates "I'm from here." (Everyone, however, tends to sprinkle Hawaiian words into their vocabulary..."this food is so ono", "head mauka to get to the market", "Make pono (make it right)", etc. You'll pick those common words up in a short amount of time.) Understanding rather than speaking pidgin is probably more helpful, and is something that happens with a little time..it's an immersion thing. Unlike a heavy patois, I've noticed a lot of people tend to turn it on and off: a local friend of mine (we shared an office) would speak pidgin thick and heavy with her local friends, mostly when joking around, or if joking around with her super-local husband. However, she spoke with a very non-specific accent most of the time - she was also the secretary & outreach person for our organization. Pretty typical. I ran into more people that spoke pidgin all the time (including a couple haoles) in more rural parts of Ka'u...haoles having been born and raised in the area. Personal experience, since you're asking: I used to chatter with my best friend in pidgin for laughs in high school (I had never even been to the islands, she was Hilo born n' bred) - we listened to a lot of Bu La'ia, and had a fake cooking show called "Da Two Aunties" starring the two of us... and that was the impetus for picking up a lot of slang. I think I liked hamming it up with her family, all Big Island people, because they got a kick out of hearing someone attempt pidgin who had never even been to Hawaii. When I moved to the island after school, I understood a lot that was being said. I think I am another cultural assimilator, like you, and Kelena. I have a knack for language and accents, and also found myself adopting a lot of Southernisms when I lived in the South. Hope this helps.
03-17-2014, 12:29 PM
I can speak "school" English passably but when I get mad the pidgin comes to the forefront. lol
I wouldn't worry about learning to speak like a "local," as actions are worth more than words. As for accepting newcomers, I was taught to always be respectful until disrespected, so I tend not to pass judgment on the basis of anyone's origins, but being a country boy I do view new people with some reserve due to being burned too many times by outsiders both local and haole. Like someone mentioned above, even Hawaiians from O'ahu are considered "outsiders" because city folk are just different from country folks. The suggestion to join a canoe club is an excellent bit of advice. I paddled when I was a teenager and we didn't care who you were as long as you could pull together with the crew. (Lokahi) Back then there was still a lot of stigma attached to same sex couples but in our club (Kawaihae) we accepted everyone, from the mahu locals, to the JOJ (Just Off the Jet) Californians, to grandmothers who had never even seen a wa'a in real life. I made some true lifelong friends during my years of paddling, and the conditioning (especially long distance) plus mental "never quit" attitude carried me through my military career at the head of the pack. I really miss those carefree days, and I've always loved being on the ocean. so if you're not afraid of a lot of hard work then joining a canoe club will be a great thing for you, but you'll never know until you try. It's a great way to make friends as well as learn about the culture. Our canoe club parties were always epic, two or three day affairs, awesome food, and my sides would be sore from all the laughing we did, from setup to breakdown to clean up, we always had a blast! So, yeah, brah, jus be yoself! "Life is labor, and all that is good in life comes from that labor..."
"Life is labor, and all that is good in life comes from that labor..."
03-17-2014, 11:30 PM
I just wanted to say i am half Hawaiian half Portuguese and i love all races.To me it ain't the color of your skin or how you talk.To me its the person you are inside.You have good and bad in every race. born and raised in Hawaii we where thought from young that the "haole"was a bad person! And sad to say still mostly with the older generation they still believe in this. But when a hawaiian moves to some parts of the mainland and becomes a minority then you understand how other people feel. I learned this first hand living in Connecticut danberry to be exacted. See most local's in hawaii never ever went to the mainland so they dont know how it feels to be looked upon as the minority. If they did experience this they would know that it is not a good feeling.I don't believe in like most local people do that the "aina"=land in Hawaii belongs to anybody but god himself its gods country we all are just caretakers till we all go home one day. My rules of living:If your nice to me i
am nice to you if you are a hi maka maka kind of person what does hi maka maka mean its Hawaiian for a person who walks around with there nose in the air who looks down on other people if this is you please stay on your side of the road and i will do the same! Like i said i help everyone and anyone if i can!(LIFE IS TO SHORT GOING AROUND AND HATING EVERYONE)Instead love Hawaii enjoy what the good lord as provided for each and everyone of us. Let the beauty of the aina warm your soul.........
03-17-2014, 11:34 PM
quote:
03-18-2014, 09:33 AM
quote: Quoted for TRUTH
03-18-2014, 01:41 PM
Oneself, you already flailing and not getting the 'lesson' to be learned in this very thread ...
You trying too hard and its a turn off Don't worry, you never gonna get it.
03-18-2014, 11:35 PM
Good thing, you dont get to make that decision, now isnt it ?
Anyone who is negative like you, I dont need in my life nor would I want, so you dont have to worry about us hanging out. You grow, or the world will leave you behind, so I hope whatever ails you, you grow out of someday. If not, you will have many regrets at your death. |
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