I am far from being an expert, I've just got years of personal experience coupled with that of friends and neighbors.
My power usage is frugal compared to most folks who've never had to rely on a stand alone system.
How much can I run? The amount is limited by my inverter, which peaks at 2000 watts. I've never ran it at full load for any length of time, and I don't run heavy loads when the sun isn't shining.
I can use the rice cooker any time, day or night, and the refrigerator is always powered on.
For me the refrigerator is the most important appliance and I've been much happier with this regular fridge than any of the propane units I've had in the past.
I have about $1,500 into my batteries, which I purchased new from Pahoa Battery & Propane.
The inverter is a 2000 watt Xantrex I bought from a friend for $350 after he bought a new Outback rig.
The panels were also purchased second hand several years ago, and I bought them over the course of a few months @ $300 apiece.
Add in a cheap charge controller for about $150, as well as wiring and battery cables, and my total cost has been less than $5k.
Not sure what a "normal" family uses.
"Life is labor, and all that is good in life comes from that labor..."