My Review of Luquins

[Guest]

There is none.


Because I went there, sat 20 minutes without even water or being greeted, and got up and went across the street for a so-so slice of pizza.

If you are going to be dirty and filthy, at least have good service. I would give it negative stars.

[terracore]

The last time we were there, our service was about the same. After they *finally* took our order, it took forever to get it. 50 minutes later (yes, I was timing it) the waitress came by and apologized for the wait and gave us some free guacamole. Ten minutes later (an hour after we ordered, 80 minutes after we got there) we did get our food, and it was pretty decent, or maybe it just tasted so good because we were starving to death.

We never went back.

[bananahead]

only 20 minutes... lol ya not good if youre ina hurry

thats exactly why I go there... to chilax in slippas n soggy salty surfshorts

in case you werent there long enough on your token peek inside.... Its VERY WELL Pahoa-Punafied with damaged flooring, mix match worn junkyard furniture, crazy parking lot... but large portions and lower prices will fill you up on a lazy day of punatic watching... especially if youre 'baked' from a day at the coast ...

Luquins aint no Lucy's or Chevy's ... for a change of pace

And... the pizza over yonder is good if in hurry...

newbies need for learn about 'Hawaii Time'... slow down
ie Luquins = chilax, drink a couple beers and watch some surfing or UFC on the TV... n PEOPLE WATCH! .... before you know it, that buzz hits, n only will seem like 5 minutes before you get that water and salsa/chips

FWIW, Ive been there about 30-40 times and have never waited more than 30 minutes for food on table... but I also dont go 'prime time' ever
ie if the parking lot is full... move on
aloha

******************************************************************
save our indigenous and endemic Hawaiian Plants... learn about them, grow them, and plant them on your property, ....instead of all that invasive non-native garbage I see in most yards... aloha

[terracore]

30 minutes is expected, 80 minutes is ridiculous. Crazy thing is that it wasn't busy (just after the lunch rush). I think that's why the waitress apologized and gave the free guacamole. Our decision not to return wasn't based just on that single experience, it had been getting progressively worse for awhile, plus we were spending much of our time swatting flies away and making comments about the cockroach feces on the walls.

[Kelena]

Luquin's:

1. Always keep your hands and arms off of the table. That tackiness is God's way of telling you this is a slippery slope to Ebola.
2. Be kind to the preternaturally slender waitresses. Ask yourself, I wonder what accounts for them being so freakishly skinny? Ignore the obvious answer and consider alternatives. I mean, would they be able to hold a job if that were the reason for their skinniness?
3. If you DO get service, ask immediately for a passionfruit margarita, blended, with highly dangerous ling hing mui powder on the rim, direct from China! After that, you won't f....you won't...really care if they ever show up with food. You can go at least 3 days without food and you can go a lifetime without the food from Luquin's.
4. Get in your dang car and drive to Lucy's in Hilo or Patricio's on the Kona side. While in Lucy's do not attempt to have a serious discussion about your relationship. The comical little pinatas that tell the server how to find you and the mariachi music will just mock any efforts to communicate why getting back together with his wife is a bad idea.
5. After that, go back to Luquin's, sit at the bar and just say "Hit me". I mean, literally, hit me.

[terracore]

^^^^^^^^^ LOL !!

[GuyinHPP]

I totally agree! Laquins is the worst. I have been there three times and all three times they got my order wrong (once they finally got around to actually TAKING my order). The server was rude and the I thought the place was dirty. I would never go there again.

[csgray]

I have only had bad service at Luquin's once, when they were packed to the rafters, although I will say they started treating us like family when they found out my grandbabies are Mexicans. My husband is a vegan with a raft of food allergies and they have always made sure he was taken care of.

Go if you like it, skip it if you don't.

Carol

[Carey]

We have found that so many places on the east side have variable service, that we can't discount any for having long wait times for waitstaff (same with variable food...)

In fact it is amazing to find a place that has attentive waitstaff most all of the time & consistent food...

[leilanidude]

I go about once a week. Sometimes it is slow, so what? What is your rush?