Personal attacks on the forum

[StillHope]

Aloha,everyone!
I was enjoying this forum until now,when "go home,haole" was spit in my face.Not literary,not directly addressed to me,but nevertheless obvious.I just expressed my concern about the volcano status.That all I did.I am coming to Puna with good intentions to make it my home.I never considered it Paradise.I knew about the challenges and I bought a land in lava zone 2 simply because I am not rich to pay 10 times more in a safer zone.It will be my only own place to live.
I was always polite and even now when I could say some harsh things to that person,I am not going to do it.Just out of respect for this forum.I am just wondering,what did I do to be labeled and insulted like that.
Do you think a person who does that should be a part of our forum?
He might say that he meant nothing personal.But anyone who will read,not" scan" his reply to-day on "Volcano acting up#2",after Glen,should see it.
Sorry to bring this subject.I am deeply hurt.I guess he reached his goal.

[Guest]

Stillhope...

I read the post that followed glen's post. I didn't see anything attacking in nature.

Were you talking about the comment:


Don't they research an area before buying property?



If that is the comment that has hurt you so much... then the truth hurts a bit too much.

It takes some thick skin to live here in PUNA and if you are upset over those words... then you might want to reconsider.

I wish you the best in your continued quest for moving to the Big Island.

-------------
On this day in History:
A do-it-yourselfer painting an attic in a Manoa house on O'ahu, Hawai'i finds a stash of Hawai'i bills worth $100,000, 1980. After 45 days, when nobody claims the money, he is able to keep it. The bills were stamped Hawai'i during WW II due to government monetary restrictions.

[jdirgo]

Unless an attack is truly personal, I find that taking words said to or by someone else and applying them to me is just like saying 'boy, I'd really like to feel wronged today, what can I find?'.

People make mistakes on here, just as they do in the physical world. For me to take something written to someone else, by a third party that I probably don't know outside of here (I don't know the relationship between them, if they've argued in the part -- nothing) and then feel as if it applied to me (or in fact, that it has anything at all to do with me) is asking to feel hurt.

I'm not saying you're doing this at all, StillHope. I'm just saying how I tend to react to things like you described.

What does concern me is the comment about "Do you think a person who does that should be a part of our forum?". First of all, its not OUR forum, its Robs. Second, I know that I can be sarcastic and have a type of (what I hope is) dry wit that some people may not get. I would hate someone to take an offhand comment of mine and suddenly draw the conclusion that I am "a person who does that" and that I should be shunned. I mean, heaven help me if guacamole lovers genuinely felt that I was threatening them with a rain of fire.

Maybe I just have a thick skin. But maybe the development of a oily hide that allows most things to just slide off has helped me from feeling things that don't apply to me. Who knows. I know it helps keep my moods a lot more stable. If I took seriously and to heart everything said on here, I'd be a basket case. Well, I am a basket case, but I can't blame Punaweb for that.

By the way, lava zone 2 is not exactly a poor depressed area and I don't think there's a person here that "judges" anyone based on their lava zone. As anyone who's spent time here (like you, StillHope) knows, some of the most beautiful and expensive properties are in lava zone 1. As I walk around Pahoa or Red Road or wherever, you will never hear me mutter under my breath "lava zone 2er" with a dismissive tone. You also won't hear me say, in reverent tones, "oooh, lava zone 5...". <sarcasm alert> Y'all are lucky I even talk to you, I own a house in Kilauea's lava zone EIGHT. OK, so its a LZ 3 from Mauna Loa, but never mind that...<end sarcasm alert>

The only thing you did to be "labeled and insulted like that" was to take the label and apply it yourself. I can walk around the Makuu Market on a Sunday and stick labels saying "jackfruit" on every papaya I see. Inside, its still a papaya. The label means nothing.

The fastest way to truly irritate someone who may be actively trying to insult you is to refuse to be insulted. Take whatever label they try to apply and instead wear it with pride. If that means proudly calling yourself "haole" do it. I joke with my friends that their young kids (infants) alway seem have a look on their faces that says "Look, its a big giant haole" whenever they see me. And since I am a big giant haole that usually towers over both Mom and Davd, its not an exaggeration. I may be the "big giant haole" but I'm also "Uncle". I'm proud of both "labels".

And before anyone thinks that I'm trying to be all wise here, or judging someone or whatever -- rest assured that I am not. I'm the same 'ol poopiehead you have known for years.

John Dirgo, R, ABR, e-PRO
Aloha Coast Realty, LLC
808-987-9243 cell
http://www.alohacoastrealty.com

[Bill]

Gosh, Stillhope, please relax.

I saw nothing that you discribe, and would certainly be offended if I did. I think that, sometimes, it is easy to misread the intent of the written word. Perhaps what you have described has been removed?

Aloha, and welcome.

Bill

[aline]

I didnt see an attack there either. It is true that some people come to Puna with the idea that it is like the other islands only more undeveloped. Then when they become residents and have to deal with the daily grind of everyday life instead of the vacation mode they become disillusioned. They complain about the drive to nice white sand beaches,work or lack of and the problems of puna which exist in mainland towns and cities too. And yes in puna you risk the chance of dealing with the wrath of Pelee but doesnt everywhere have some risks associated with it. I know that here in the northeast we have had more people killed by shoveling snow than by volcanos or tsunamis in HI. A very wise woman once told me that it doesnt matter where you go you still have to take what is in your head with you.

[frankiestapleton]

WOW, StillHope, please forgive me! I in no way was saying Go home, Haole! I'm sorry you took my comments as saying that.

Just so you'll know, I spent 20-plus years as a daily newspaper reporter on this island and have written a book ( now out of print) about the volcanic history of Kilauea. And I'm a haole who as a single mom felt totally blessed to be able to purchase a postage stamp of aina to call my own in lower Puna back in the late 70s, in what later was labeled Lava Zone 2. And I wouldn't have been able to even do that without a federal ag program that financed people who banks wouldn't give home loans to. So, please understand I was not and am not in any high income category (even BEFORE I retired) and meant no offense, economically, racially, or otherwise. And I'm still living on that land, still feeling blessed.

Being a person of the printed word, I truly meant what I said about not understanding people's lack of research. I also taught school here the past few years and it bothers me that children (who have no choice as to where their parents live) are being affected by the health hazards in the air here. It's been studied by the heart association, the lung association, university scientists, and written about in newspapers locally and statewide for years. People can't blame the real estate and tourism industries...they're just doing their jobs too.

And the story about the Hawaiian lady's dream was very straightforward...I just thought some people might be interested in knowing it. There was no implied message beyond that...I just like sharing stories people pass on to me.

So, StillHope, I'm very sorry you're deeply hurt...that WAS NOT my goal. Maybe I was subconsciously responding to Anagami who is leaving Puna and Hawaii.

BTW, one of the attributes I've always loved about the Big Island is that people here are NOT STATUS-CONSCIOUS, at least that was the way I saw it when I moved here after 7 years on Oahu (back in 1977). So I hope you still have hope, and please wash away those hurt feelings.

Aloha kakou, Frankie

[StillHope]

It's not WHAT you say,it's HOW you say it.And the circumstances.
I asked about the volcano activity.And all of a sudden I heard ranting about "those people" who think" Puna is paradise and then dissing it".
That was addressed to me.
Did I ever talk about paradise in Puna?Did I "diss" it?
"Do they do their own reasearch..?"
A person who doesn't is either reckless or stupid.None is a compliment.
Again,the question was about volcano.
Anyway,only narrow- minded people resort to generalization addressing a person they know nothing about.

P.S.I posted that before I saw the author's reply.I was probably editing mine when the other post came through.I stand behind what I said above.But I am not a person who holds a grudge.The apology accepted.

[Carolann R]

Get outta here, Frankie - I thought you were a guy!![:0]

Carrie

http://www.carrierojo.etsy.com
http://www.vintageandvelvet.blogspot.com

"Freedom has a scent like the top of a newborn baby's head..." U2