Posts: 181
Threads: 44
Joined: Aug 2007
I was reading Jerry Carr's post on his anniversary and with all
the comments, it seems that there are lot of couples that have
been together for many years.
I thought it might be interesting to see what people would share
in regards to the longevity of their relationship.
When Ralph and I met, he had stressed that he wanted a relationship
that was built on commitment, one like his parents had. The big
part of that was "you just don't quit".
As the years have gone by, I realize that I found someone who was
smart, a true friend and a great companion.
So let's hear from you. Would love to hear your stories and who
knows, maybe someone reading this who is in a young relationship
might get some new ideas.
Aloha
Ed
"From knowledge comes understanding"
"From knowledge comes understanding"
24 years. Never stop communicating, especially the hard stuff. Really listen to your partner when they have something to say. Don't interrupt and make sure they know you heard them. Don't be afraid to apologize or admit that you were wrong. Don't cheat. Although this one surprisingly is not the largest indicator of divorce, I think it will lead to many unhappy years.
If you are truly unhappy in a relationship, don't be afraid to end it. But definitely seek counseling first as that can make the split much easier on both sides.
Posts: 1,139
Threads: 42
Joined: Feb 2008
all the above. add humor to the list along with adventure.
"a great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."
w. james
"a great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."
w. james
Posts: 4,533
Threads: 241
Joined: Jan 2006
When I first met Seaside Bob and was about to strangle him for something - I asked my mom and her pals, three women with 146 years of marriage between them - how do you all do it and for so long?
One of them very sanguinely said "oh I havent spoken to [him] for two days".... I was aghast and she said "every once in awhile you just have to make the old guy stop, and really think! One more day should do it." [
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Reminds me of the "When I grow up I wanna be an old woman" commercial - I just love that!
Posts: 2,149
Threads: 90
Joined: Feb 2006
Simple things, really, like always saying "please" and "thank you." We are fortunate enough to have some interests in common and some that we are happy to let the other guy enjoy on his own. We both have enough hardship and unhappiness in our histories to really appreciate all that we have now, both materially and emotionally. Our personalities and styles are quite different, and I think that's good because they seem to complement each other. Then there's always blind luck! Lord, am I lucky.
Posts: 2,314
Threads: 59
Joined: Jun 2003
Nothing should be more important than your other half and nothing should be more important than your relationship! Period. It took two divorces but I think I finally figured it out. (Now if I could just get my wife to put down that f****** Blackburry!)[
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PS. I should have added: don't sweat the small stuff. If it's not important and if it's not worth to fight over, let it go!
Aloha,
John S. Rabi, GM,PB,ABR,CRB,CM,FHS
888.819.9669
johnrabi@johnrabi.com
http://www.JohnRabi.com
Typically Tropical Properties
"The Next Level of Service!"
(This is what I think of the Kona Board of Realtors
http://KonaBoardOfRealtors.info)
Posts: 151
Threads: 14
Joined: Apr 2005
A sense of humor is a must and you have to choose your battles sometimes you just have to agree to disagree. Talk to one another,share your disappointments and your dreams and be nice to each other and when you have a fight-fight fair no name calling.But most importantly remember this person is your best friend treat them accordingly.37 yrs together and still learning.
Posts: 3,035
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Joined: Aug 2006
Acceptance: you have to accept that person as a total package, not try to pick and choose which parts you like and which ones you want to change. Knowing that person accepts you as a whole person makes all the difference in the world too. Love is acceptance.
Carol
Carol
Every time you feel yourself getting pulled into other people's nonsense, repeat these words: Not my circus, not my monkeys.
Polish Proverb
Posts: 798
Threads: 38
Joined: May 2005
I'm so glad I quit the relationships that I did when I did, and in some cases wish I had sooner! Those that can ride out the storms and find that perfect match, more power to you. For me the goal is not to stay together but to know when it is no longer good not to stay together. Know when to compromise, but also know when not to not compromise yourself to your own detriment.
Posts: 3,035
Threads: 201
Joined: Aug 2006
The only wise thing my ex ever said was when we were finalizing our divorce, he looked at me and said "The first time you get married you should get a learner's permit, not a license." That "learner's permit" relationship sure taught me what I really needed and wanted in a partner. Sometimes the best thing really is knowing when it is time to go.
Carol
Carol
Every time you feel yourself getting pulled into other people's nonsense, repeat these words: Not my circus, not my monkeys.
Polish Proverb
