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feeling gay in Puna
#1
First off, thanks to you all for your insightful, honest depictions of life in Puna
This site has helped answer so many questions for us.
You all sound like the kind of neighbors I hope to have someday.
Not planning the big move for 2 1/2 more years but I have spent a lot of time there as well as have a friend who has tried to make an off the grid existence for himself in HPP. I'm personally looking to live in HPP or one of the other communities in Zone 3. I've heard lots of positives and negatives just as you will anywhere but my main concern is how the latest influx of gay residents is being perceived. Are there any gay (or gay friendly) members who could shed some light on the subject of living the gay life in rural Hawaii?
Does anyone have a reliable, honest gay or gay friendly realtor who could help me find my home?
I can't imagine feeling much resistance there but any perspectives will be useful
Mahalo!
Edward in Tucson
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#2
The thing I love about puna is that is a rare thing that you can't find elsewhere in the mainland - theres just a few pockets of similar locales that have the same vibe....northern california (sonoma county), santa fe, new mexico, palm springs, portland area and a few other areas i'm missing....you'll find that people are into live and let live attitudes not based on any skin type or sexual orientation...There are the alot of creative types, the potheads, the spiritual people drawn to the Lava/energy zones, new age people, mixed ethnic groups along with decent people that want a simpler lifestyle and including families....this is such a rare environment in the united states that people can be so accepting of others ethic background and personal identities and not just sexual orientation.

I think you'll find that puna will also be that special place....warts and all....you just have to discover where you feel the most comfortable and open yourself to the community.

noel

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#3
Hi Ed. I sent you some real estate contact info via email.

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#4
Aloha, Thornpicker. My partner of 17 years, Bear, and I have made the wonderful life journey of moving to Puna, and we love it here. I can honestly say that we have felt accepted by neighbors of all ethnic types and mixes, straight and gay. We live in central HPP (Railroad) and know almost everyone within a mile of our house. Sexual orientation has simply not been an issue for us, other than the fact that there have been a number of other gay people who have made a special effort to befriend us.

We know other gays who have had happy experiences with both the realtors who post regularly on Punaweb, Mssrs. Dirgo and Rabi. I am sure there are others out there, too, but these guys are part of our on-line community and are respected.

Of course there are downsides to living in Puna, but I can only think of one that specially relates to being gay. Some single folks complain about a lack of dating venues that are not just pick-up scenes. I have heard many times something like, "I love it here, but all the nice guys are partnered." Of course, we sometimes heard that in Atlanta (pop. 5 million,) but it does seem to be a common complaint here.

Of course there are downsides to living in Puna that don't have anything to do with sexual orientation, and you can check out all those by looking at threads on this forum. I should note that Bear and I are retired and have not had to deal with employment issues.

There is a gay website for Hawaii with a section for the Big Island. The address is http://www.outinhawaii.com . They have want ads, community service listings, a personals forum, a general forum, and a lot of other stuff.

I hope this helps!

Cheers,
Jerry

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#5
Thought I'd through in my two cents. Working in and living nearby the gayest city in the world (SF), I don't have many qualms about moving to Puna as far as any discrimination. The big adjustment for me will be moving to a small town. I have met many wonderful gay guys there, and there is an active potluck scene and of course Kehena is very gay. But when I am there, I can have a simple conversation with someone, and then talk to someone else who knows that I talked to that person. So it does seem like everyone knows everyone else there, but that seems to be true in the neighborhoods for all people since most aren't hugely populated. HPP may be different given how vast it is. It seems that lower Puna is probably more gay (and alternative) than Kea'au.

Moving there alone is also a little discouraging if I eventually want to end uup coupled, as there are not a lot of single guys, and since most of us are picky about mates, it makes for slim pickins. On the plus side it seems like there are always new guys moving there.

For myself, I don't go to bars so will not miss that, and I don't really take part in the huge gay culture of the Bay Area. Plants, nature, Pele--those are all more important to me.



Edited by - robguz on 05/25/2007 12:59:05
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#6
We have many friends that are open here, more than when we lived outside of Chicago (but that had much more to do with the small town & county we were living in...). This county is much more accepting of very many different lifestyles, but as Robguz mentioned...it is a "small rock". You will find that many people know you from word of mouth, and that long time residents know much about almost everyone.
One of the most unusual things here is how many people you meet are related to someone else you know, and also how you will find that people divorce & still remain in social circles....makes for interesting social gatherings..."oh, he was married to her, but now is with this person, - oh and you don't want to mention this with this other person who was with this person".... and they all still remain in a social circle!




Edited by - carey on 05/25/2007 14:18:47
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#7
Gee Carey, we must go to the same parties! When I moved here I found everyone already knew all about me. The first neighbor I met said "Hi, I'm Larry from up the road, we're very gay-friendly, welcome to the neighborhood".

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#8
There have been numerous articles in the press (New York Times, and others, as well as the Honolulu Star-Bulletin) about the influx of gay people into Puna. I don't say this on here much (since it isn't relevant a lot of the time), but as a gay man, I have never had any problems here. Everyone is welcoming.

As for locating a gay Realtor... <waves hand in decidedly non-swishy way>

John Dirgo, R, ABR, e-PRO
Island Trust Properties, LLC
808-987-9243 cell
http://www.hawaiirealproperty.com
John Dirgo, R, PB, EcoBroker, ABR, e-PRO
Aloha Coast Realty, LLC
808-987-9243 cell
http://www.alohacoastrealty.com
http://www.bigislandvacationrentals.com
http://www.maui-vacation-rentals.com
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#9
John's awesome in this area - he can help you find just what you want and knows so much about this area!

Haa Haa..."non-swishy"...heeheehee!!

Carrie



Edited by - Carolann R on 05/27/2007 19:05:16
Carrie

http://www.carrierojo.etsy.com
http://www.vintageandvelvet.blogspot.com

"Freedom has a scent like the top of a newborn baby's head..." U2
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#10
Thanks to all who responded to my post
Had a feeling I would get mixed signals, but most of what I read was very encouraging
I agree that of what I've personally seen in the area there are lots of gay couples and being single would be a challenge if you want a relationship
Luckily, my partner and I have a great relationship and will not be wanting a dating scene. A social scene, however, is very appealing and from what I can gather there's a lot of networking and social interaction going on there. As far as everyone knowing everything about you, I kinda expect that living in a tight knit community. I actually prefer it since that is what has made this area a real "community" rather than a bunch of escapists who want to sit in their wooded lot and get away from humanity.
I'm more interested in growing food and plants and perhaps having a good relationship with my neighbors than drama or isolationalism (is that a word?)
By the way, is the job market THAT bad?
I work in the grocery business now (Trader Joe's--perhaps some of you miss it...) and hope that it would be farely easy to find a job there--by the time we move there, making tons of money is simply not a priority--making ends meet and being happy is
I know there are a lot of retired people there so SOMEONE has to feed them, right?
Perhaps by the time I actually retire, I'll be selling cherimoyas and soursaps in the Hilo farmer's Market

Mahalo again for your insights--they are very appreciated
Aloha!!
Edward

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