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When I last visited my property I learned that my brother had died on the property. The last time I saw him alive he was tattooed with Hawaiian/Polynesian looking bracelets and a necklace. I did not get to talk with him long enough to get the real rapport that could have filled in the long years passed. Not long after that he passed away there on Big Island. From his look I would say that he had embraced life on the island as completely as he could.
The dead do not always go away. I have had dreams and wish to create an appropriate memorial on his place that matches up with Hawaiian beliefs for one has gone but is still here. I realize this is a personal thing but I am not for some reason able to sort out what to do except that something needs to be done. Any appropriate ideas? Thank you.
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I've always felt that the best way to honor someone who has passed on is to encourage the next generation to carry on the work or passion of the deceased person - buy books in their memory for the school library, endow a scholarship or grant, or make a donation to a local non-profit.
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On the property, a small memorial garden with native Hawaiian plants or trees, with a wood or stone carving.
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If you have any cremains, creating ti leaf ho`okupu (memorial offerings)that are placed at significant areas to your brother.
These can also be created to contain other biodegradable materials that may have had meaning to you broker (I have seen things like shells, flowers, even whittling works wrapped into a ho`okupu)
of course, if you know of some of your brothers friends on island, a celebration of his life may help you and his friends.
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When I die, I want to be cremated and have the ashes buried with a new tree. Not sure if that goes along with your brother's beliefs or anything, but I always have thought that would be a good way to be remembered and planting a new tree (as long it is not invasive) is always a good thing. The tree will live on and even when it dies it will become part of the earth.
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I have been thinking of a memorial spot of some sort on the property. I am not a rich guy. It will have to be a handmade place. I think that it will require research. We all are visitors to this earth. In a way Hawaii is a spooky place to me; there are moments in time and places that even with my short experience there have a powerful sense of the past and a spiritual presence that is entirely foreign to me.
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I wish that I did know more Carey. He left Alaska when I was a boy. I did not see him again for 35 years. I would love to have a genuine memorial place there on the land and a sharing time with friends. It was his place. Also a real ritual that would have meaning to him.
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Talk to his friends and/or neighbors if you can, they might have an idea of his favorite spot, either on the land or somewhere else on the island and what he might have wanted. If he was on the land a long time they will have a sense of his personality and values.
Carol
Carol
Every time you feel yourself getting pulled into other people's nonsense, repeat these words: Not my circus, not my monkeys.
Polish Proverb
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Just meditate and ask him, also... I always talk to my grandmother and she's been gone for 7 years. I still know she is around me. Just be open to whatever thoughts he communicates with you. I am so sorry for your loss.
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Hi, thank you for your helpful observations. This next trip when I am fully functional again will be for Mark.
