07-15-2008, 03:29 AM
A farmer stopped by the local auto repair shop to get his truck fixed. They couldn't finish it while he waited, so he said he didn't live very far away and would just walk home. On the way he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his all of his purchases home.
While he was scratching his head, a little old lady approached who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?"
The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that address. I would walk you there but I can't carry all of this stuff."
The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"
"Why thanks. That's a good idea," he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way he said, "Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time."
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, "I'm a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?"
The farmer said, "Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"
The old lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens."
"When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?"
George Carlin
While he was scratching his head, a little old lady approached who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?"
The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that address. I would walk you there but I can't carry all of this stuff."
The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"
"Why thanks. That's a good idea," he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way he said, "Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time."
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, "I'm a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?"
The farmer said, "Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"
The old lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens."
"When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?"
George Carlin
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Support the 'Jack Herer Initiative'NOW!!