Moving,Acceptance of Newcomers

[lluberesm]

Aloha everyone,

I finally gave up on selling my home by owner and put it up for sale with an agency and it will be on the MLS as of Monday virtual tour, pics and all! Weeee
This means that it is just a matter of time before the big move. When I signed the paperwork only two things came to mind. One was what exactly are we leaving behind and the other was the matter of acceptance of our children and ourselves on the island.
It dawned on me how uncomfortable it felt to have this impending feeling that I will have to “work” to be accepted probably on account of my ethnic background. Although I know that living in a big city and not having experienced a feeling of having to”work for acceptance” does not necessarily mean you are accepted. (you just get lost in the masses nobody really cares or notices) It is however a different kind of existence living in the city and going about your business without worrying about whether your neighbor or anyone “accepts” you. I apologize if I am not making sense; it’s a little difficult to put into words what I am trying to explain.

Well, the reason I bring this up is because the two books I have read (So you want to live in Hawaii, and Affordable Paradise) both make it a point to mention how newcomers are not always welcomed, especially those of different ethnic backgrounds. In all fairness to the content of these books they also make it a point that everyone that lives in the state is considered a minority. However, even with that said there seems to still be a problem with people of other races or ethnic background coming to live on the island. This is really my only worry or discomfort when it comes to the move. Especially because I wouldn’t want anything happening to my children on account of the way they look or were they come from. I have made it a point in there very short lifespan to raise them understanding that everyone is human and nothing else. Now I am faced with the probability of integrating them into a social situation that (from what I understand from the books) will cause them to question the values I have tried to instill in them thus far. When I read a passage from one of the books (that specifically pointed out who the biggest discrimination and lack of acceptance wars geared towards) to William the other night he laughed and said “O O, Lenny you are ** out of luck” it was a really funny moment and we laughed for a while, but than I continued to read and it mentioned situations of extreme discrimination against newcomers.

After all that babbling I just did I would just like to here some opinions from anyone about this subject. How easy will it be to integrate my family and myself into society on the island? What is the “discrimination” these books mention towards newcomers really like? What exactly can I expect? I did not feel any of what these books talk about on any of the three islands I visited years ago. This has never been an issue to us so I have no real way of putting my concern into words (as you can see from the mess I wrote above) but would appreciate any information, advice from anyone. Mahalo in advance for any help you can give me!


Lenny

[Lee DeJongh]

Lenny
I can't speak directly to your question, but my family and I were on the BI two weeks ago looking for property. We were successful (thanks, John Dirgo!) I have no real concerns about Puna. The people I met there were PRETTY LAID BACK. And as long as you understand that your goal is NOT to change their world, I would have no worries.

When we went west to Honoka'a, things changed. Everything was Aloha, welcome until we mentioned wanting to move here. Then, we got the Stink eye. It was also assumed that we were staying in Kona. (We actually stayed in Kehena near the Beach. And yes, we went to the beach and interacted with the beachers.)

When we said we were staying in Puna, the invectives started flying. A den of iniquity, thieves and DRUGS!

Bottom line. Our take on all this. The BI is rural. It is like a small town. If you have lived in a small town anywhere you know that you will NEVER be accepted by the longtime locals until you are 50 years dead.

I would not look at some parts of BI for that reason, too insular. But Puna is full of people who moved there ON PURPOSE. They will be welcoming as long s you are accepting.

[lluberesm]

Aloha Lee,

First and foremost congrats on finding a place! Was that your first trip to find a place? How difficult was that endeavor? Were you already familiar with the area or did John help you out with that as well? (excuse all the questions :-) John Dirgo keeps surprising me with his incredibly great reputation. Wow!

Second, thank you for your encouraging and honest words. I was under the impression that most if not just about all the "newcomers" where concentrated in Kona. Since that is not where I will be moving to I was concerned about how warm a reception we would be receiving on the east side.


Lenny

[Lee DeJongh]

lenny

I read the same books you have, and I read the web forums. MArj and I had visited Maui and liked the weather but not the congestion and atmosphere. (California) I talked to a lifelong resident there and she said she liked BI. That started me thinking.

John and I have been emailing for some time. I would suggest properties and he would tell what a fool I was to consider them. Very nicely, of course I don't really know about the east side of the island. I do feel the Kona side appeals more to the westerners from the mainland. And we are rural Midwesterners. I gotta have green...and water.

[pslamont]

We found ourselves accepted by haoles and natives alike by maintaining a couple of simple attitudes:

1. RESPECT FOR THE LAND...
2. RESPECT FOR THE CULTURE AND TRADITIONS
3. WILLINGNESS TO LISTEN
4. WILLINGNESS TO SLOW DOWN.



Just another day in P A R A D I S E !!

[Lee G]

Lenny,
Pam is right, Follow those simple rules and you will be O.K. Another word of advise is don't compare Big Island to the Mainland because it's comparing apples vs oranges.
Big Island is a world unto itself and so is the Mainland. We have been here 2 years now with no problems and our daughter who is 7 yrs old loves her school(Keonepoko). We are a mixed race couple I am white and my wife is Filipino, True there are no majorities here and I don't think race is a major concern like in years past. Just remember if you wanna make friends you must be a friend.
Lee Graves

[HADave]

Lenny,

I believe John Lennon and Paul McCartney said it best and I would remind you of their powerful lyrics in.........


Love Love Love

There's nothing you can do that can't be done.

Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.

Nothing you can say but you can learn to play the game it's easy.

Nothing you can make that can't be made.

Nothing you can know that can't be known.

Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.


It's Easy!!!

All You Need Is Love Love Love is All You Need.

We saw some graffiti while were driving along rt 19 in the lava fields. White coral layed out to make this huge drawing of a humback whale, beneath it was an inscription, it read as follows:

ALOHA Get It Live It

I think it was that message that told us it would be a safe and wonderful place to live.

So bring a little Love and Happiness and leave the rest behind and I'll bet you and yours will be Happy Together...)

Aloha HADave

[Carolann R]

Are you FEELIN' it? Celebrate the groovy vibes, cuz. (And thanks for the tune that will be with me for the rest of the day...) (Okay, so I'm in Pahoa - whaddya expect?!)

LOL


Carrie

[lluberesm]

Lee G, Pam, HADave

Great advice and o-so soothing words. Definitely puts me at ease. I have to say though, it seems that as helpful as these books can be it seems like they lack a well defined version of this particular situation. It seems almost as if it was a little on the exaggerated side of things. My suitcase may be on the empty side except for the things we can't live without, but that empty space you can all be sure is filled with respect, love, kindness, humility, and most of all acceptance of everything and everyone on this earth as an equal. Almost the sole purpose for the move is a nee to give as well as be surrounded by those feelings.


PS NOOOway HADave I am wearing a Beatles T-shirt right now!

Mahalo all!


Lenny

[JerryCarr]

Between frequent visits over the past six years and living here full time a year and a half now, I can attest to the usefulness of the four simple rules outlined above, especially the part about slowing down. (Some of you might have noticed that my postings here on Punaweb have mellowed over time as I learned to adapt to the pace.)

I also agree that the unpleasantness towards newcomers, such as it is, seems far less prevalent in Puna than elsewhere on the BI. My gay partner and I, both haoles, have been warmly greeted all up and down our road in HPP by neighbors of all imaginable ethnic groups and combinations thereof. Our race is obvious, and they have certainly had enough time to figure out that we are gay. No problems whatsoever.

We have, however, encountered unpleasantness that we believe to be racial on a few occasions outside Puna. Once, at a beach park near the Hawaiian Homelands neighborhood in Hilo, we were given serious stink-eye by some thuggy looking characters and told that the park was for "locals only." A couple of other times in other places, the reverse aloha was more subtle, but unmistakeable. Our take on it was that these were unpleasant people, and not necessarily representative of all the folks in their group.

The bottom line, though, it the fact that this sort of unpleasantness is widespread on the mainland to one extent or another, just with a different angle. Here in Puna, I have felt accepted and even nourished by my wonderful neighbors of all races and orientations.

We have some problems in Puna, mostly centering around how to provide adequate community services in the face of strong growth, but I don't think a hostile racial environment is one of them. Aloha is alive and well here on so many levels.

Aloha,
Jerry