msmoto, coming in a little late but just wanted to ask ...
Saw the photos of your original fence ...
Q: Did the neighbor ever tell you how far off he opined your line was ? Did you ask ? Did you REALLY have to put it within 6" or so as per the photos ? Point of this is ... Even if a dispute ( professional surveyer or not ), a couple feet might have made a big difference in his attitiude, even if you felt @ a loss. So what ? ... Compromise and keep the guy happy, unless you were planning on developing every square inch of your property ... IMO, the fence-on-the-line thing ( mainland mentality ) added fuel to set him off. Yeah its 'yours' but is it that important ??? I would bet if you set it back 3', NONE of this would have ever happen and you would be sitting @ his house next holiday season instead of on your butt whining as your husband ignors you to keep filming. Side note here is I REALLY feel bad for you. Your husband is WORSE than the neighbor IMHO. Did not come to your aide or even comfort you. What a kitty cat ( p _ _ _ y ). Sorry Rob but dang man.
IMHO, There are at least TWO disturbing people involved in this video.
Was all that tin truely less $$ than the wire + a conversation ?
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So if I become a NFH, I get a bigger lot?
Puna: Our roosters crow first
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Wow pog. Did you even read my posts before you posted this? Please use your close reading skills to answer your questions, as I have already answered them.
The stakes in the photos are the fence stakes, not the property line markers. I'm not sure how you determined where our property line was. Even though we did not place the fence as close to the property line as you "calculated", we are not expecting a holiday invitation.
While your opinion of my husband is worthless to me, was calling my husband names really necessary? You can get your point across other ways.
To Barbara, who felt the need to start her own thread on the same topic (?), thank you for your concern wrt counseling. I am seeing one and she has been extremely helpful to me in working thru the anxiety and fear I have as a result of my assault. As I have stated before, I do not have any concerns about my husband's actions.
Because I do continue to experience anxiety due to this situation, and this thread is only adding to it, I am making the video private and this will be my last public post on the topic.
Thank you all for your comments, even the not so kind ones, they have given me a lot to think about.
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KathyH - excellent idea on letter writing to the person's attorney! Hitting a bad neighbor in the wallet would work for all but the wealthiest.
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Going to the police or the courts will only make matters worse.
Try to be the bigger person and offer the olive branch to your difficult neighbor.
I think that the situation needs to be defused. Write a letter to your neighbor asking him to write out his complaints so that they can be addressed. Offer to go to a mediator to try to settle your differences.
I think that the Original fence project should be revisited. Take down the ugly roofing and start putting up a field fence with the help from at least a 2 man crew.
If vandalism persists, then invest in a trail camera to get photos of the trespass and vandalism. Then you will have evidence that is irrefutable if the peaceful route is fruitless.
BTW, A trail camera is a motion activated camera which is often used by hunters to record when and where animals are at a particular location. Set up on a tripod, Camo clored, infrared if no flash is prefered. Great security tool.
If you can't make the peace with your neighbor, there will be no peace in your life. Better to move away from him. Yep, I know that there are many reasons why moving away is ureasonable, but if you can't make peace with him, then your own peace of mind is what you must protect above all else. The sooner the better.
Good Luck, Dan
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If you're going to write a letter, make a copy for your records and send it certified mail, return receipt. If you're going to set up a camera, be sure the lunatic doesn't see you doing it.
Well said, both of you.
Do send the letter to the attorney. Any time someone is represented by an attorney adversarially to you, it is inappropriate to contact them directly. Not to mention it violates the spirit of the restraining order.
Ideas for a good letter (not intended as legal advice; I am a lay person, not an attorney, and if you possibly can you should consult with an attorney.)
Start the letter by explaining that your number one desire is to have peace and you are looking for solutions. Explain the transgressions calmly and what damage they have caused you, without overstating the damage (and losing credibility).
Explain your concerns.
Ask what your neighbor wants.
Ask why he interfered with your installing the field fence, and whether he would interfere if you do it again. Explain the investment in the materials and labor.
Mention the disturbing acts that rise above making noise and simple trespassing, such as the dog-napping (which his lawyer will deny, but he will hear).
Keep the tone of the letter free of emotion.
State that you don't want to go to court, but you cannot live in fear of your neighbor either.
Put the ball in their court to offer a solution to the situation.
See what you get.
The current tack of gathering support amongst other neighbors can backfire.
My neighbor friend who did something similar was sued for defamation - for injuring the neighbors' reputation in their community. While it never went to trial, and probably wouldn't have stuck, it caused no end of grief.
It is emotionally satisfying to gather a lot of support, but be careful.
Also, people who are supportive as heck often have a change of heart when they are involved to the point where they have to go to depositions and court. Suddenly, they "don't want to be involved."
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centipede and Kathy are on different tacks than what I am suggesting; I would not send a letter registered or to the attorney, I would just put a note in the mail with the sole motivavation of making the peace, not building a legal case. Even if you win a legal case, you lose.
Good Luck, Dan
quote:
Even if you win a legal case, you lose.
I agree.
However, when you contact a neighbor directly who has legal representation, as she stated, and when there is a mutual TRO, that can be construed as harassment even if it is a nice note.
The time for nice notes was before police charges were filed, before they went to court, and prior to the TRO. Now they should follow the proper channels with everything.
It is not necessarily a question of building a legal case, which they may or may not need or want to do - so much as not doing anything to further the neighbor building a case. This dude is angry and irrational and has already engaged a hired gun.
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