11-27-2013, 06:26 PM
I never, ever, ever wanted to go to Hawaii because I lived in California where there are great beaches and plenty of tourists. I couldn't figure out why anyone would want to come here. But a friend made me go. Boom. I fell in love with Hawaii before we even landed in Honolulu for the first time. I was on Hawaiian Airlines and then they made you close the window shades until they were preparing for landing. And then they ask you to open them. I looked out the window and there was Oahu. I gasped. I took one look, turned to my partner and said "I want to live here!". He shrugged and said something like "meh".
At first I looked on other islands but prices were very high for very little. Puna had the cheapest real estate. And when I first visited, I fell in love with the jungley, end-of-the-world feel of it. And the fact that there was a volcano that occasionally belched sulfur under the first vacation rental I stayed in appealed to the......oh what shall I call it? --the clinically insane aspect of my personality. After some hits and misses, I happened upon a small, but beautiful home -- a damsel in distress as it were. I love damsels in distress. We bought it.
Getting here was a titanic journey. The ship tipped up, broke in half and Leonardo diCaprio sunk to the bottom of the sea. I might have shoved him after hog-tying him and inserting a sock in his mouth. Who can remember how these things go down with all the screaming and shouting and the drowning orchestras and all? So hard to concentrate! In any case, I sometimes shuffle over to the cliff, try not to fall, and I drop plumeria blossoms on the ocean. The tradewind usually blows these right back up and they lodge in my hair. I play an Irish pennywhistle while I do this to enhance the effect. I'm so tired of the ukulele I could scream!
If anybody asks, I haven't seen the Heart of the Ocean pendant.
In the meantime, I look around me and, for better or for worse, I realize I fit right in.
At first I looked on other islands but prices were very high for very little. Puna had the cheapest real estate. And when I first visited, I fell in love with the jungley, end-of-the-world feel of it. And the fact that there was a volcano that occasionally belched sulfur under the first vacation rental I stayed in appealed to the......oh what shall I call it? --the clinically insane aspect of my personality. After some hits and misses, I happened upon a small, but beautiful home -- a damsel in distress as it were. I love damsels in distress. We bought it.
Getting here was a titanic journey. The ship tipped up, broke in half and Leonardo diCaprio sunk to the bottom of the sea. I might have shoved him after hog-tying him and inserting a sock in his mouth. Who can remember how these things go down with all the screaming and shouting and the drowning orchestras and all? So hard to concentrate! In any case, I sometimes shuffle over to the cliff, try not to fall, and I drop plumeria blossoms on the ocean. The tradewind usually blows these right back up and they lodge in my hair. I play an Irish pennywhistle while I do this to enhance the effect. I'm so tired of the ukulele I could scream!
If anybody asks, I haven't seen the Heart of the Ocean pendant.
In the meantime, I look around me and, for better or for worse, I realize I fit right in.