Old Lady that walks to Pahoa from Hwn Shores

[Royall]

She used to live in Leilani Estates and I have given her a ride from the stop light a few times if I was going that way. She appeared very capable to take care of herself and carried on a good conversation. I do see her quite often up at Black Rock Cafe in the mornings.

Royall

Hale O Na Mea Pa`ani

[Green]

she is the consumate commuter

[Shoresresident]

quote:

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Originally posted by Frankie Stapleton

Judy is an emanicipated adult, living how she wants with the choices she has. Like Lee said, get to know her and quit stereotyping people as in need of caretakers!

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Noone is stereotyping here. Whats your problem? Clearly this woman is in bad health, she pees herself almost on a daily basis. Someone is caretaking her and maybe it is you and thats why you are so defensive. Someone who wets themself is in need of a caretaker.

[Shoresresident]

quote:

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Originally posted by DanielP

If you are so concerned, perhaps you should get to know her.

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I am just amazed at how people in this world just does not care. Where's the compassion???

[DanielP]

Pretty high horse there

[LeeE]

What world?

Lee Eisenstein
http://members.cruzio.com/~lionel/event

"Be kinder than necessary, as everyone you meet is engaged in some kind of strudel."

[punafish]

I believe Shoresresident's heart is in the right place.

A rhetorical question to ponder: what's more compassionate, posting unsubstantiated assumptions about a stranger on a public forum? Or getting to know the person before making judgments?

No need to answer the question to anyone but yourself.

I appreciate your concern for a fellow human being.

[oink]

I've had to deal with my mother these past few years while she has declined in both physical and mental health. She began to frequently express that she has always marched to the beat of a different drummer. I think there is some truth to that as I've always considered her a bit of a nut case. However, during most of her life she only marched about a half step off. Recently, she has more frequently marched in a totally different parade. Being a borderline libertarian, I considered it to be her business although I found it a bit distressing at times. He drum beat caused friction in the family as it fell largely to my brother, as he lived a couple of miles from her, to watch out for her and see that her basic needs were being met. My brother is a Vet on 100% PTS disability (Nam. Riverine Ranger). Due to her general non-compliance and his inability to handle stress, things often didn't go well. His heart was always in the right place although his diplomacy and attitude often weren't.

I was primary estate executor but based on my experience with related matters on my job I didn't think she would be considered incompetent by a judge, if brought before one. This was all very stressful on the whole family as Mom had become fairly paranoid and was non-compliant with meds and would not eat even remotely properly unless it was prepared and placed in front of her. She wouldn't eat Meals On Wheels food. Her damned different drummer was driving my brother close to a breakdown and was probably killing him. Mentally, she was apparently past the point of being concerned that her different drum beat was was causing harm to others. However, she is our mother and we didn't want to see her waste away from improper medication and lack on nutrition. During all of this she could carry on a short conversation with many people, with them not noticing that she had issues, unless they were experienced in the early signs of dementia and alzheimers.

I guess the point in all this blab, if there is one, is that the hitch-hiking lady may be able to carry on a seemingly coherent short conversation (like mom) but it also sounds to me like intervention is probably now needed, especially if she has now lost bladder control and isn't taking steps to deal with that problem. They make bladder control panties (adult diapers) just for that problem. It's fine to let them march to whatever drum they hear, until it becomes an issue of neglect.

The line is blurry between where you write off behavior as a different drum beat v.s. incompetence where a lack of intervention is inhumane. If she has capable relatives, it may now be time for them to step up to the plate. Unfortunately, if she doesn't have capable relatives, the other options are poor, as I've not been impressed with any government programs in those situations. However, if there are no competent relatives I would hope some caring neighbor would contact the proper local agency so the lady can get what help is available. Sometimes churches can be of assistance but in the past I've not been overly impressed in that dept.

Shoreresident is, IMHO, correct to be concerned.


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quote:

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A rhetorical question to ponder: what's more compassionate, posting unsubstantiated assumptions about a stranger on a public forum? Or getting to know the person before making judgments?

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My "assumption" was that Shoreresident was trying to reach out to someone who was more closely associated with the lady and stimulate action. Personally interfering in the situation would be a last resort if someone with a personal connection or responsibility to the lady is already involved or should be. Shoreresident would have no legal standing and his/her abilities would be subsequently limited.

Pua`a
S. FL
Big Islander to be.

[punafish]

Great perspective, oink. Thanks for sharing.

Just want to add: we all make assumptions about others, rightly or wrongly, it's the human condition. But you make very good points. I admire shoresresident for caring, and you for sharing your story. It adds depth to the discussion.

[nana valley]

Shoresresident, I also share your concern and thank you for bringing this to the forum for conversation. Oink is correct. She may have dementia/Alzheimer. She could still carry on simple conversation with strangers. You mentioned she also has evidence of incontinence and I am concerned for her safety on those roads, especially at 9:30PM at night! Family should be caring for her but if none is available, then it is the good ole government. Churches help their congregation mostly and have a small amount of funds for someone outside the church who might need temporary help. Some churches do have outreach ministries to help a person in need. Our outreach is a lunch ministry every Thursday in Pahoa but I am not aware of any other program in our church to help her.

Many years back in my old home town, we had a local woman in her 80's who rode her bike for hours every day. She was always a source of mystery and rumors for the town. Her only problem was she was an introvert, very lonely, lived alone and filled her days with this obsessive bike riding. One day, she met her demise tragically...yes, struck by a big "18-wheeler" on the freeway. She died alone, no family locally.

I will pray that no harm comes her way while walking the roads. If you can get more information on her, maybe we can find an agency who can help if she indeed needs help.